How I Met my Boyfriend…

We blog about online dating quite often as we have both turned to it in the past to help us hopefully find a soul mate. I often wrote about how I did not imagine meeting a soul mate drunkenly at the bar because it felt as if they were always there, trying to pick up any female walking by and get her drunk enough to make her feel that she is special.

One night, when I was least expecting it and when I had only been at the bar for a short enough period of time, I ended up meeting my current love of my life.

I usually do not have the best memory but vividly remember almost everything about the night we met.

Every time I look back it reminds me out of a scene from a Tim Burton movie I love, “Big Fish”:

“They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. And that’s true. What they don’t tell you, is that once time starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.”

I remember looking at each other and smiling and the memory is still in my mind, and following that single event the way our relationship progressed was extra fast, but wonderful in all the right ways.

I had arrived at the bar quite late to meet my friends and had only been there for an hour or so and had only had enough time to have one drink. Brooke was way ahead of me with drinks and having a great time when, as per usual at the bar, some drunken fool started approaching us. I told him several times to leave us alone but he seemed to really enjoy pissing me off and kept showing off his dance  moves, which resembled a monkey by the way in front of me. At one point he stood in front of me and started flailing his arms around, and as I turned into the crowd, I made eye contact with who then was a stranger and (apparently) made a disgusted face at him asking for rescue from this drunken freak.

He came over to me and started talking and one conversation lead to another, lead to another and time flew by so fast that it was already last call and the bar was closing. He had only been there for less than an hour too so we were both fully sober to be able to have intelligent conversations. We had quite a lot in common, loved the same TV shows, both have careers that we are growing into and seemed to have the same sense of humour.

We somehow fit perfectly together from that day on, and the first date, the second and every other day after that. We spent so much time together, not because we felt we HAD to but because we genuinely enjoy each other’s company that we are moving in together. We decided that all the decisions we have made and will continue to make will not be to conform by what standards people say a relationship ought to follow or not follow. It is a gut feeling and when it happens, both people agree and see eye to eye and this is something rare and amazing for me having experienced the complete opposite in the past.

I remember one day having a conversation with him and the words that came out of his mouth were: “I don’t think you have ever dated someone like me because you would still have been with them to this day.” It gave me goose bumps because I knew that it was the truth.

So why did this relationship work for me but online dating failed?

Because we both happened to be at the right place at the right time, not just physically that night at the bar but in our lives. Maybe somehow the universe aligned and things happen because it was fate (if you believe in it) or maybe things are a series of random events. I don’t really know what I believe in but I am happier than ever before and most importantly I am with someone that is sure about being with me. Unlike the experience I had before with someone who was constantly confused until one day he was confused about me.

Online dating provided a good understanding for me of what attributes I liked in someone and which ones I disliked. But I found many of the men I met online had various issues. Some still lived at home in their 30’s, had unsteady jobs or jobs that were not so great, they had no aspirations and future plans and they were generally confused without much direction. It seems they all turned to online dating to not necessarily build a relationship but to hopefully find themselves. What they didn’t realize is that by turning to online dating, it means that another person may become involved and feelings often get hurt.

The important aspect about dating in general and online dating is finding yourself and making yourself someone that has various things to offer to a relationship. It is not fair to find someone to give you direction because they are not your parent or teacher, they are your partner and ought to be looking towards the same direction as you.

So next time you try online dating, already have a profile or are frustrated. Turn all that off and head out somewhere social. That wonderful person who has a career and is very busy may not have the time to dedicate to an online dating profile, but he may have the time to catch up with a friend that night and who knows, you may bump into him.

Lunch Guy

 

We have nicknamed the gentleman that this post is about “lunch guy” because all I really got from him was a lunch date and a whole load of lies. But to get a better understanding of “lunch guy” we must start from the very beginning.

About two years ago or more I was on Plenty of Fish and had spoken to lunch guy a few times. He ended up adding me to Facebook and we must have made plans to meet at some point which obviously fell through. Regardless, at the time I started dating somebody else so I don’t recall the exact reason why me and lunch guy never met up but we just didn’t work out.

Three weeks ago I was spending a lazy Sunday at home wasting endless hours on Facebook when I got a message on Facebook Chat from lunch guy. We started trying to figure out how we knew each other. After about four hours of talking back and forth, I felt like we had the BEST conversation and really were hitting it off. We talked about everything, laughed, I enjoyed his humour. He told me he was a brand manager for a company and he got to see many cool things like hockey games as well as tickets and a flight to the Superbowl. That all sounded very exciting and after a while we exchanged phone numbers. Funny enough, I have had the same contacts on my phone for ten years because I happened to have his phone number already. Neither one of us could exactly remember why we didn’t pursue going on a date but if we got to the point of exchanging phone numbers we may have.

Regardless, two days later he took a cab over to my work and met me for lunch. He was a true gentleman. It was raining a bit so he held his umbrella over me, had his arm around my waist and took me to a very nice restaurant, nice than I expected for lunch. He had a witty sense of humour, joked with the hostess and waiter and said a few things that actually made me laugh out loud. I will not lie, I was impressed. He was six years older than me, owned his own place (seems to be rare for guys in their 30s around here) and seemed to have a pretty successful career. He held my hand across the table which was pretty cutesy and he gave me a peck on the cheek when I returned to work.

I went to work with a big smile on my face and constantly kept wondering why he had been sitting there in my friend’s list for so long and I never ever noticed him before or wondered why we didn’t talk.

That week it seemed we both had already made previous plans so we were unable to see each other. The conversation kept going back and forth. He made it clear that he was extremely busy with work and usually worked 7 days a week and sometimes until late hours of the night. I have different views on this. Although I enjoy working, I truly believe one must work to live and not live to work. Regardless, since he made the time to see me during our lunch, I figured he would put in that same effort on a second date and so on.

He went away for that weekend and was completely MIA. No text messages back or phone calls and I figured he was just busy. Then Sunday I finally receive a text from him saying he’s had a crazy weekend away for work and he would tell me everything over lunch later that week. We planned for lunch on a Friday…after he was leaving the following weekend for the Superbowl. He messaged me saying that he had to catch his plane and was unable to make it to lunch. Okay so I got over it, I realize it was kind of a big deal why he cancelled an moved on with my life.

Again; another weekend of MIA but then some sporadic messages saying how he just really liked me, saw himself dating me for the long run and that we had great chemistry. I don’t really fall for these words at this moment and I think it’s impossible to feel all this after a 45 minute lunch date. Regardless, I appreciated the effort.

I was given promises that when he came back he would make it up to me by taking me on a real dinner date. But I somehow had a weird gut feeling about him. He would try to squeeze me in during lunches but dinners seemed to require much planning. In the evenings he would usually not answer his phone or messages and then send me a random one here and there. I felt like he may not only be busy with work but also maybe be in a relationship?

As we were finalizing plans for our dinner date and he was almost upgrading his nickname from lunch to dinner guy. He told me that after dinner maybe we could hang out for a bit. I said,  sure that’s a good idea and figured since he mentioned his place a few times that maybe I could check it out. Before I suggested his place, I had a funny feeling that an excuse would come up as to why we shouldn’t go there.

He told me that his sister works close to his place and sometimes works late so she often crashes at his place. This is why going there would’ve been a bad idea. I questioned him on this because his sister seemed to be married with a husband and a two year old baby. I’m not a mother myself but I figure that a new mother would want to make it home every night to at least see her baby, especially when living in the same city.

Regardless, I told him it sounded odd to me but sure moving on. He said I had no reason to be doubtful and to trust him on this. He called me from his work and assured me that he is not lying about whatever life he is living. I expressed that there were no hard feelings but I really could not get involved if he was already with someone or even living with them. His phone called was assuring. Regardless, I didn’t really care what the outcome of it was, more like something to do?

Later that day I get a message that says “You’re going to kill me but I may not be able to do dinner, I may have to work late” I replied “Don’t worry about it” and that was the end of that. I got several other messages saying that he would try his best and so on. We were supposed to meet at 5:30, anyways the whole evening came and went and he never even gave me a text or a phone call. I went home right after work and didn’t even try to contact him because I was clearly done with him and his lame excuses and pathetic lies.

The next morning I receive a text that says “Hey are you mad at me for last night.” Clearly I ignored it, then I received another one saying “I’m sorry but I really tried.” I tried my best to ignore him but the messages just would not stop. The last thing I wanted to do was let him think I was busy or something and that I was fine with being cancelled or disappointed. So I messaged him back and told him that I did not think it was a good idea for us to see each other. I needed someone who was available for me and who would be willing to do things with me. Not someone who has to pencil me in and cancel on me because they are obsessed with their job, or worse in a serious relationship. He told me that he felt I was making a huge mistake and that he cared about me and really liked me and that he had a gut feeling we could be something great.

My favourite thing is when he said “Sometimes in love things dont go the way you wan them to but it’s never that easy and you have to be patient and try. I am upset that you are not fighting for this and are giving up so easily”

EXCUSE ME? Since when are we talking about “love” here. And also, I explained that I would fight and not give up in a relationship with someone that had put the time into being with me, who fights for someone after a second date and a series of disappointments!

Regardless, I told him that mistake or not I guess if I eventually feel like I made a mistake, it would be my problem to deal with and my loss. It’s really too bad that in some cases the bird dance lasts a few months or a few years but at least in this case the bird dance lasted a lunch date and then two weeks of lying and pretending to be in a relationship and that we should “fight for it.”

In the end, I fought for what I believed in and that is what’s important.

I believed that I am worth somebody’s time, I am worth being important and a number one priority. And I am worth having someone want to learn about me and what makes me different or unique. I also am worth someone fighting for me through actions and not words. Showing up and taking me somewhere, or out to lunch. Not once, but a few times and showing me a great time and that, just maybe might make me fight for them and make me realize that they are worth fighting for.

 

Our Guest Blog on Will Date for Free Food: How I met him on an online dating site

Hey guys,we are very excited to share with you our guest post today on one of our favourite blogs- Will Date for Free Food. In this post Mckenzie talks about meeting her boyfriend on an online dating site and the positive side to online dating. Check it out and make sure to read their blog for similar posts to ours, we love them and they are our blog soulmates but all the way in Boston!

How I met him on an online dating site – Guest Blog.

Mr. Awkward

I would like to share my date with Mr. Awkward. I have nicknamed him that because he fits the definition of awkward so well that it is kind of ridiculous but funny at the same time.

After we met online after a few weeks of text messaging, we finally set up a day and time to meet. Luckily or unluckily enough; he happened to be living just a block from me, what a coincidence!

The plans involved coffee and walking around the city, talking and getting to know one another. Within the first two minutes of seeing him, he smiled at me and started to walk towards me but as he was walking he bumped into the handlebars of a bike that was chained to a pole on the sidewalk. We laughed about it and I thought it was a good way to start off the date; humour definitely can calm down those first date jitters.  I soon realized that this was not the first or last time he was going to be bumping or walking into something. Within the hour that we were walking, he stumbled over his own feet about five times, got his sleeve caught in a doorknob as someone was coming out of a store , spilled coffee all over himself and would constantly do the awkward shuffle when people walking in front of him would try to get around us.

At first it was funny and I brushed it off but afterwards I realized he was a huge klutz. We ended the night by getting ice cream and sitting in a park talking. The date was actually not bad disregarding the fact that he told me he was taking classes for hypnosis and could hypnotize anyone.That kind of sounded weird to me, what if he hypnotized me and tried to get all the dirt on me? Thankfully we didn’t get into that, or did we? Maybe I was hypnotized and have no recollection of it! Guess I’ll never know now.

Despite his clumsiness and the talk about hypnosis, I decided to give him another chance. I felt like I was being too harsh judging him on a first date. Maybe he was very shy and nervous the first time around and he was kind of cute too.  We were supposed to meet for sushi on the Sunday at a nearby place but Saturday night he messaged me late at night after the bar. He was at an all-you- can eat sushi place up my street with his friends and he wanted me to join him. I had been out that night too and had a few drinks so I told him it wasn’t a good idea. I did not want to do anything“stupid” as I was taking the dating thing seriously and I also did not think  seeing each other drunk or meeting his friends the second time we saw each other would be the best idea.

He finally convinced me to go so I walked over there. His friends were extremely annoying and within ten minutes I wanted to leave.  There were guys in the group as well as girls who from the impression I got, seemed to be their girlfriends. The girls were extremely critical and were badmouthing each other the minute one of them would leave the restaurant. Mr.Awkward was clearly more intoxicated than anybody else because the whole time we were there, he was staring off into space completely inebriated out of his mind and not saying one word.

After an hour or so, we were the last two people there and finally decided to leave and walk back home. He said he would “walk” me home and I say “walk” in quotes because when we stepped outside of the restaurant he could barely stand let alone walk. He seemed to have turned into Jell-O and lost all control of his legs so unfortunately LUCKY me; I had to help him walk home. I had to drag him across the street as he tripped over his own feet, this was not very attractive and clearly I had no desire to ever see him again whatsoever. It seemed like ages before we reached my house and since mine was on the way to his he convinced me that he would make it home alright from there. At thispoint I really did not care to have a 200 pound man hanging off of me, which resembleda jelly fish so I told him to have a goodnight and was about to walk away. But, just when I thought the night couldn’t get anymore interesting, he leaned over, threw himself on me and planted a big wet sloppy kiss on my mouth. I stood there frozen, unsure of what to do but slowly pushed him away, said goodnight and ran inside, he muttered some drunk mumble jumble which might have been “Goodnight” but I really did not care at this point.

The next day (Sunday) he text messaged me saying that he wasn’t feeling so great for our sushi date. I told him based on the amount he drank the night before I completely figure that would happen. He tried to make excuses or justify himself but I think he realized he had embarrassed himself and used the hangover as an excuse. I truly do believe that if anyone in the dating world is serious about meeting a mate, seeing them drunk out of your mind or drinking like a goldfish on a date is really the biggest mistake one can make. Maybe he felt that alcohol would give him the confidence he lacked on the first date but the second time around was probably even worse.

For obvious reasons, we never spoke again, then about a year later when I joined the online dating site again, I noticed he had viewed my profile but did not message me; I wonder why!

Have you ever had an experience where either you or your date got a bit too drunk? How did you react to that, would you give them another chance?

Would you expect a second chance is that was you?

The molds we create

We want to start off this post by thanking all of our followers and expressing how happy we are with all your comments and feedback.

 

As we get older it seems to become extremely obvious that the more we date, the more particular we become about what we look for in a mate.  In other words, we create molds.

These molds include everything from physical appearance to intelligence, wealth and anything else we add to the mix. We can all agree that we have a strong radar, where within a short while of meeting someone we can already determine if we want to ever see them again or not. As we both sit there and talk about traits we find attractive, our list gets bigger and bigger both ways. We have many likes but also quite a big list of dislikes.

I remember once having a high school boyfriend whose parents met through a blind date in high school and had been together ever since. That sounds cute for sure, but I cannot imagine anyone being open to blind dates these days or having them work out in the end. That is because many people are becoming more desperate. Even in a world where we are surrounded by Facebook, twitter and many other social media websites. Some people I have met through online dating have definitely lied about their appearance or lied about important aspects of themselves in general.

Forget blind dates, nowadays before we meet someone we have probably already looked up their Facebook profile, gone through all 1,000 of their pictures, read all of their wall posts and possibly found any dirt on an ex. Once we have stalked them on every level imaginable, my favourite part is going on the first date with them where you feel as if you already know their whole life story.

As they tell you they took a trip to Thailand, you pretend to sound surprised and intrigued but little do they know that you looked at all the pictures of their trip, Albums 1, 2 and 3.When they tell you they have siblings; all of which you have already Facebook stalked, you act surprised because again you cannot give away your immaculate stalker abilities. Then they proceed to say that their last relationship was 2 years ago. This is the moment where you hope that the picture you saw of them embracing someone romantically does in fact fall in the 2 year time period, otherwise they are lying and they have already disqualified themselves!

This is why I believe that blind dates are becoming obsolete. Not only because we are considered weird if we don’t have a Facebook account but also because we have been let down so many times that we still hope to find prince charming who will fit into our mold and pass all of our likes and dislikes with flying colours. Not only do they have to fit into this mold on a first appearance basis, but we also have to be in agreement with their past based on what we have seen on Facebook. If we see that they have constant bar pictures, we clearly label them as someone who is not so serious about commitment. We have already made these decisions most likely without sometimes giving them a chance to explain.

Unfortunately as we create these molds and letting them get more complex for anyone to fit into, we only end up disappointing ourseleves and in the end losing faith in the opposite sex. We have both been in long term relationships where we wanted to find that perfect guy that helped us cook or cooked for us, cleaned (and enjoyed it), did things for us not because they had to but because they were just that sweet, and loved us through good and bad. Unfortunately we were blind to realize that the relationships we were in did not fit in the mold at all and all we were doing was taking two rectangular shapes and trying to shove them in a circle.

I (Mckenzie) remember thinking that the person I was with had a hard time fitting in the mold but because he loved me so much, I had somehow swept him off his feet and made him fit in perfectly. In the end this turned out to be a huge mess. Once we moved in together he started daily arguments about how he changed his mind about living with me, said it was my idea and he was just trying to please me. He also stopped helping me with anything and started complaining that he felt crowded, the relationship went downhill from there.

In Brooke’s situation, she was dating someone who openly talked about not ever wanting to marry and she maybe hoped that he would change his mind for her. The same thing applied to him in terms of having kids, he did not seem to be thrilled at the idea or having any; ever, and unfortunately he was not willing to compromise but being blinded by love she failed to see some of these signs earlier on.

Somehow love blinds us into this reality we create where we not only become very picky but when we are exhausted from looking for the right person, we just try to shove them in our mold because we have either given up looking or we don’t think that we can do any better.

Looking at both of our past relationships now, it’s easy to see what went wrong and we can take this as a lesson and move forward. Should we hold on to this mold we have created and this list of likes and dislikes? Doing that seems as if we are lowering our standards. Or should we not view it that way and become more passive. We often feel like we can change people or believe that someone will fall so madly in love with us that they will just listen to us and not have any objections. Unfortunately this is not always the case and we end up heartbroken.

Is being more flexible with our mold another way of saying we have lowered our standards or a process of growing as people and learning to love people and accept imperfections?

 

No Baggage

Why it’s important to not have baggage.
 
I recently read a quote that said: “If you can’t be a good example, act as a horrible warning,” so with what I’m about to share will not be me acting as a horrible warning.

A bit over a year ago I was dating someone I was very serious about. The relationship was extremely rushed and as I kept hitting rock bottom I realized that it was not everything I thought it would be and I had sunk to a whole new low. Everything about the relationship was messy including our break up. We struggled to stay apart although we knew that things would not work out. Letting go was extremely difficult and it was not until I found someone that treated me better, respected me and someone I had the chemistry I had been searching for my whole life, until I could finally move on.

I tried many different methods of moving on from this destructive relationship through online dating. Online dating produced many dates and even a short semi-relationship, but it always lacked that chemistry I was looking for. My heart was still with him and seeing other people made me only want to be with him more. Although he was destructive, at the time he felt like home and that was not a home that I needed to be a part of.

My most desperate attempt to move on was when travelling for work; I casually had drinks with somebody in another city and believed nothing would come of it. He was ten years older and I had never dated somebody significantly older than me so I became interested. We had one night of drinks and when I returned home to Toronto he kept messaging me telling me he still thought of me. After talking for about a month he told me that he was going to take a chance and move to Toronto for me. This should have been a BIG red flag, somebody ten years older having nothing to hold him back and being desperate enough to pick up and move for me, but I was blind.

Based on all the things (lies) he had told me, I felt beyond flattered and saw no reason to not take this as an opportunity to move on. I was not attracted to him; at all, but figured I was being superficial and that I had to stop being so picky if I wanted to ever find love again. I offered for him to stay with me while he looked for his own place and thought for a few weeks it should not be a problem.
By the second week, I already desperately needed him to leave. All the things he had told me gradually started unveiling themselves as lies and I found out that his finances were awful, mainly because he to pay back “people.” He also told me that he had been single for 4 years meaning he had also been sexless for 4 years. That to me was mind boggling and just plain strange. He became obsessive and constantly told me he wanted to marry me right away, gave me foot rubs daily, and ran out every time I wanted something; like a servant, even though I told him it was too much.  When I asked him to leave, he refused and said he couldn’t afford it or that he couldn’t find places. Eventually after much arguing and fighting he left, but constantly messaged me telling me he still loved and missed me like crazy, when I had asked him to never speak to me again. All in all, he was crazy. At this point, I had not one but two obsessive exes not leaving me alone, and I wanted nothing to do with them.

It seems that each relationship I got into, I acquired baggage and it got heavier and heavier. I guess I was never good at closing doors and maybe felt bad being so harsh or maybe I was ending up with people that were extremely emotionally attached and couldn’t handle loss. I figured we can all get the hint that tells you to not contact them EVER again that they actually mean what they say. Fooling yourself ends up not only getting you hurt but also the other person as at that point it becomes harassing behavior.
 
I finally met the guy I’m dating now and he is wonderful and I felt immediate chemistry like no other, attraction and everything else within our first date. I never thought those things were possible but we’ve always had the most amazing chemistry and continue to do so almost half a year later. After I met him, I felt like layers and layers of baggage were just shedding off of me. I didn’t care about the ex I had so much trouble getting over anymore and I only worried that the obsessive guy would just leave me alone. Regardless I still received messages from both of them from time to time confessing their “undying” but just ignored them and hoped that they would eventually get the hint.

 The other day was our anniversary and I was walking home happy as a clam until I approached my front entrance when I noticed three red roses taped to my door and a note that said “I will always love you.” At first I thought it was an anniversary present being that we were celebrating it but then it suddenly dawned on me that it would be unrealistic to receive flowers from him within a 3 day time span.

My mind started racing and I had chills running down my spine. How do I ask him if he taped flowers to my door if there was a chance that was not really him? I sent him a message that said “I just got home” and he seemed to not imply anything confirming my initial thought.
I decided to call my destructive ex and he admitted to it, this may have seemed romantic at a time when I wanted to actually be with him but at this point I found it to be quite disturbing. I was worried and upset that this baggage would never actually fall off and that he would attempt to ruin my current relationship but I made it known that I was not pleased by his gesture and hung up.

As they say, time heals all so hopefully this baggage will one day disappear for good and they will move on. So if you must learn one thing from me is to run as fast as you can when you come to a realization that something is not right.

The clan of un-datable men… part two

This is the sequel to my previous post “The clan of un-datable men” you waited for it…so here it is.

Following my interesting date where we had to share a coke and having the date NOT end with a kiss.

I decided I was not going to give up hope so my next date led me to; we can just call him CRAZY!

I have mentioned him before in the post titled “The Sub Test” as he was also extremely cheap, but for the sake of describing my disastrous dates, I won’t spare you the juicy details. Within the first minutes I found him to be very attractive. You could tell he hit the gym on a regular basis (great butt and nice rugged hands). I always have a thing about people’s hands, so I guess you could say these hands passed the test with flying colours.

We went for coffee on our first date which he clearly did not pay for. Unfortunately I gave him a second chance where we went to get dinner (which he did not pay for, again) and watched a movie …at home. Within the second date, it was more than clear to me that this was not going anywhere. Despite his physical advantage, we had good conversation but I wasn’t feeling head over heels. Two days later, it was Halloween and he text messaged me repeatedly saying he wanted to see me after my Halloween party; around 4:00 am. Now I don’t know about you, but 4:00 am is not a date, it falls under the “booty call” category. Having decided that this was simply not going anywhere, I decided to reject this invite and told him I was busy.

The following morning while having breakfast, I noticed that I had several missed calls and messages. I was being called many offensive names like “slut” “drunk” and “alcoholic” because i refused to see him at 4:00 am. These messages ended with the best one yet which said “If you would like a chance to redeem and explain yourself meet me today for lunch.” Ummm NO!!!!! I wouldn’t even waste another text message on CRAZY.

The date that followed this one we will call SOCIAL. Because throughout the whole date he constantly made a point in telling me that he was very social. I get it!! But social to him meant going rock climbing. Now don’t get me wrong, I have never rock climbed and I’d like to it sounds like a lot of fun. But going by yourself and rock climbing…every single day, doesn’t seem like my idea of social. Especially because he spent more time rock climbing than he did at home or anywhere else.

Disregarding his obsession with being social and rock climbing, he was extremely rude to the waitress. Gave her attitude all night and in the end after asking me to walk up and pay for my half of the sushi dinner…on debit. I noticed that he did NOT tip the waitress.

As if this date couldn’t get any worse. We said our goodbyes, no kisses and as I went in my house I got a phone call from him asking me if I wanted to talk on the phone until we went to bed. I’m sorry but 15 minutes after a date is over, I think I need some room to breathe, especially after that one. What were we going to talk about , how the date went? because I’m sure he didn’t want to hear my opinion on it. Not only did he want to talk on the phone but he wanted to come over and snuggle. Clearly this was NOT going to work out.

We realize these dates sounds disappointing and in no way are meant to discourage from the dating world! There is a light at the end of the tunnel and we can say we have found it. Eventually asides from the failures, there is definitely a good one that came out of it. So although a bumpy ride, we do believe that online dating does open your eyes to different things and if anything makes you realize what you are looking for in someone or not looking for. It definitely helps you realize who you want to invest your time into and who you absolutely must ditch within date number one!

Happy dating!

Mckenzie

The clan of un-datable men

I often see a commercial that says currently 1 in 5 relationships is formed online. I can say that I have fallen under that statistic but on my quest to find the ideal partner, I have unfortunately encountered some not so very ideal ones.

At the time; after many disastrous dates I will admit that I felt more like crying than laughing at them. But now that some time has passed and I have shared them with Brooke,  we have had many good laughs and of course learned from them. This is why I think it’s time that I share them with the public and hopefully we can all get a few good laughs as well as some valuable lessons.

My first experience in the dating world started a bit over two and a half years ago. I had previously gotten out of an almost three year relationship from university and after some time off dating I decided I was ready again. The question was, where do I meet people?

The first experience I will share, I will call him DISHONEST, the reason for it is because he used fake pictures on his profile.

After speaking for a few weeks, I noticed that he had only one picture of himself; him wearing sunglasses and sitting behind the wheel of a car. The picture looked very artistic and figured he had a friend who was a good photographer. We had good conversations but he often said “ I hope when you meet me you will still feel the same,” this in itself should have raised a red flag. Being new to the online dating world and being an honest person, I did not imagine what was coming my way.

After text messages and phone conversations we decided to meet one night after I was out with my friends.

I received a message saying that he was heading my way in 5 minutes so I started looking. Being quite anxious as I had never done this before, I was somewhat excited and imagined we would lock eyes in the crowd, run and hug each other and that it would probably be a scene from a movie.  Five minutes pass and I receive a message that says he was standing across from me and he recognized me so I looked up and started looking for him. In the picture he had nice arms and I’m a sucker for nice arms, so I figured that could be one thing to look for. But all I saw was what appeared to be a 350 pound homeless person that was smiling at me. He had stains on his shirts, a hat covering his face and ripped up jeans that were falling off almost.  The fellow approached me and believe it or not, this was APPARENTLY the same person in the picture.

After many attempts at convincing me that the picture was taken years ago and that he had gained some weight. I remained unconvinced. I told him that this would not work out and went on my way. Weeks and even months later, he sent me various messages insulting me and saying I was shallow and that we were made for each other, clearly he was blocked.

In what universe did he ever think that he could not only lie about his appearance but also show up on a first date looking like a homeless person. And how could he ever expect to start any relationship based on lies from the first minute or starting conversation.

Fortunately I still kept my spirits up, blocked DISHONEST and tried my luck again. After some regular dates that simply lacked chemistry. I met AWKWARD. Oddly enough he ended up living a block from me, which at the time I thought would be perfect if we were to date as convenience is definitely key. Let’s get to the point with this one, he did not receive his nickname for no reason.

Within one hour of walking and chatting downtown he tripped about 5 times, got his sleeve stuck in a doorknob  and got ice cream all over himself . Unfortunately I decided to give him another chance when he messaged me one night after the bar telling me he was with his friends eating sushi in our area. “After the bar” was a red flag over here.  I showed up to find him beyond drunk, unable to walk properly. Guess I never predicted that him living so close meant I had to help him stumble his way home as he hung himself off of me, keep in mind he was about six feet tall and I am only 5’2”.

Needles to say, that was the end of that one.

Apparently the “interesting” dates all came in waves because not too long after that I had a date with another one. It seemed they had all created a clan, the clan to try every way possible to make me lose my faith in the male gender. Me being a brave soldier and all still kept standing strong.

We are going to call this one the NERD. Because he resembled Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. What distinguished this one is that we went out for dinner and when we got there he ordered a pizza for us to share,  and also ONE coke for us to also share. The pizza was a personal one and in no way was it meant to be shared, and sharing a coke…how old are we? We are also NOT in 1950 where sharing a milkshake is considered romantic.

At one point the waitress tried so suggest that we should order a larger pizza to share but he wouldn’t have it. Refills also cost extra so we had to make this one coke last. Not only that, but I noticed that he did NOT tip the waitress. After the date he asked me if he would get a kiss for taking me out to dinner. I wondered who he had been taking on dates before because I was sure not impressed.

At the time I wanted to cry and was so disappointed in all of mankind. Why did they have to plot against me!! I just wanted a normal date, was that too much to ask for.

Unfortunately these awful dates do not end here, but stay tuned for post 2!

Mckenzie