Tag Archives: blog

Oh, Hey… Where have you been?

21 Sep



Well it has been a busy summer. McKenzie and I have definitely neglected you, and to apologize we have a beautiful man and babe photo to suit readers of both sexes. Also, if that doesn’t do it for you, we have a new post on it’s way. This summer was filled with travel, work, new relationships, new ridiculousness, and then me spilling water on my laptop and not being able to afford a new one to keep up with the blog. NOW that time is over!

Glad to be back!


No Baggage

20 Oct

Why it’s important to not have baggage.
I recently read a quote that said: “If you can’t be a good example, act as a horrible warning,” so with what I’m about to share will not be me acting as a horrible warning.

A bit over a year ago I was dating someone I was very serious about. The relationship was extremely rushed and as I kept hitting rock bottom I realized that it was not everything I thought it would be and I had sunk to a whole new low. Everything about the relationship was messy including our break up. We struggled to stay apart although we knew that things would not work out. Letting go was extremely difficult and it was not until I found someone that treated me better, respected me and someone I had the chemistry I had been searching for my whole life, until I could finally move on.

I tried many different methods of moving on from this destructive relationship through online dating. Online dating produced many dates and even a short semi-relationship, but it always lacked that chemistry I was looking for. My heart was still with him and seeing other people made me only want to be with him more. Although he was destructive, at the time he felt like home and that was not a home that I needed to be a part of.

My most desperate attempt to move on was when travelling for work; I casually had drinks with somebody in another city and believed nothing would come of it. He was ten years older and I had never dated somebody significantly older than me so I became interested. We had one night of drinks and when I returned home to Toronto he kept messaging me telling me he still thought of me. After talking for about a month he told me that he was going to take a chance and move to Toronto for me. This should have been a BIG red flag, somebody ten years older having nothing to hold him back and being desperate enough to pick up and move for me, but I was blind.

Based on all the things (lies) he had told me, I felt beyond flattered and saw no reason to not take this as an opportunity to move on. I was not attracted to him; at all, but figured I was being superficial and that I had to stop being so picky if I wanted to ever find love again. I offered for him to stay with me while he looked for his own place and thought for a few weeks it should not be a problem.
By the second week, I already desperately needed him to leave. All the things he had told me gradually started unveiling themselves as lies and I found out that his finances were awful, mainly because he to pay back “people.” He also told me that he had been single for 4 years meaning he had also been sexless for 4 years. That to me was mind boggling and just plain strange. He became obsessive and constantly told me he wanted to marry me right away, gave me foot rubs daily, and ran out every time I wanted something; like a servant, even though I told him it was too much.  When I asked him to leave, he refused and said he couldn’t afford it or that he couldn’t find places. Eventually after much arguing and fighting he left, but constantly messaged me telling me he still loved and missed me like crazy, when I had asked him to never speak to me again. All in all, he was crazy. At this point, I had not one but two obsessive exes not leaving me alone, and I wanted nothing to do with them.

It seems that each relationship I got into, I acquired baggage and it got heavier and heavier. I guess I was never good at closing doors and maybe felt bad being so harsh or maybe I was ending up with people that were extremely emotionally attached and couldn’t handle loss. I figured we can all get the hint that tells you to not contact them EVER again that they actually mean what they say. Fooling yourself ends up not only getting you hurt but also the other person as at that point it becomes harassing behavior.
I finally met the guy I’m dating now and he is wonderful and I felt immediate chemistry like no other, attraction and everything else within our first date. I never thought those things were possible but we’ve always had the most amazing chemistry and continue to do so almost half a year later. After I met him, I felt like layers and layers of baggage were just shedding off of me. I didn’t care about the ex I had so much trouble getting over anymore and I only worried that the obsessive guy would just leave me alone. Regardless I still received messages from both of them from time to time confessing their “undying” but just ignored them and hoped that they would eventually get the hint.

 The other day was our anniversary and I was walking home happy as a clam until I approached my front entrance when I noticed three red roses taped to my door and a note that said “I will always love you.” At first I thought it was an anniversary present being that we were celebrating it but then it suddenly dawned on me that it would be unrealistic to receive flowers from him within a 3 day time span.

My mind started racing and I had chills running down my spine. How do I ask him if he taped flowers to my door if there was a chance that was not really him? I sent him a message that said “I just got home” and he seemed to not imply anything confirming my initial thought.
I decided to call my destructive ex and he admitted to it, this may have seemed romantic at a time when I wanted to actually be with him but at this point I found it to be quite disturbing. I was worried and upset that this baggage would never actually fall off and that he would attempt to ruin my current relationship but I made it known that I was not pleased by his gesture and hung up.

As they say, time heals all so hopefully this baggage will one day disappear for good and they will move on. So if you must learn one thing from me is to run as fast as you can when you come to a realization that something is not right.


10 Oct


I’m addicted to men. I can’t stop looking at them, and when I speak to one I constantly wonder what his penis looks like. I know it’s not polite to think of everyone that way, but even the guys on the subway. It’s like a pastime. I think to myself, circumcised or not? Small or big? Trimmed or wild? I know I have my own preferable answers, but I just can’t help but wonder.

I also truly believe I can’t be friends with an attractive guy. I have plenty of guy friends, but don’t find them attractive one way or another, be it personality or looks. For example, I’m friends with a tall man with a fantastic body and a decent face. There is absolutely not a chance in hell that I would ever date him, however, because he is just a strange guy. He’s my friend that I invite when it’s lacking entertainment and we need someone to put on a show. He’s also someone I would call if I need a bear hug and a laugh. No matter how many times he has tried to kiss me (and even when he succeeds now and then :P) I know I could never date him. It’s funny too because when we kiss, somehow we remain completely platonic.

On the other side of the spectrum, there’s a guy I recently met who I know I would never choose out of a bunch of attractive guys. He is tall, adorable, but a little too young. He is also outgoing, tall, and has a great friend personality. Does this mean I can be friends with him? Sure. Does it mean I can be friends with him without imagining his penis and if he’s interested in me another way? Absolutely not. Since I met him, I have wondered everything. I’m older, yes, but he mentioned he dated an older girl in the past. This had nothing to do with me, I know. This does not matter to my men obsessed brain because it makes me think, hey maybe he wants to date me.

To make matters worse, I see him every day. I won’t say how, but I do. We are constantly in contact, but it bothers me that he doesn’t ask to hang out with me afterwards, or on weekends. He will sit with me, eat with me, walk with me, but when time comes to go our separate ways, my boy craziness says “WHY DON’T YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER AND SCREW YOUR BRAINS OUT!”

I know as well, that if I did screw him, I would be uninterested and probably screw (pun intended) the rest of my time knowing him up. I always wonder if he doesn’t want me to hang out because of this fact.

In any case, I want to screw him, and I really hope I don’t f*ck it up just due to that little fact. Damn, I really need to learn a way to turn off the desire part of my brain 9 am to 5 pm… I need to go man hunting.



So fresh and so clean…or are you?

1 Sep

I will start this post by listing a few things that I am attracted to in the opposite sex…

– Nice arms

– Nice teeth/ nice smile

– Sense of humour

– Great personality

– Chemistry

and so on…

Now I will list things that I am completely put off by…

– Scrawny arms

– Dirty teeth/bad breath

– Body odour

So you see now, the biggest turn off for me seems to be poor hygiene. Unfortunately amongst the many I have had the opportunity to meet and date, some have lacked hygiene on all aspects.

We will call the first one “Dirty Nails,” the reason being that he always had black dirt underneath his fingernails. I remember going on maybe two to three dates with him and every time I saw him I became obsessed with the state of his fingernails. One time we were in a theatre and he put his hand on my knee; all I could think about even in the dark, were his dirty nails and the fact that they were touching me. I couldn’t do it. One day; believe it or not, I confronted him about it and wondered why. I believed that maybe he had a logical explanation, such as he liked to work on his car a lot. Instead I was given an excuse even worse than I was hoping.He told me that whenever he was very stressed out he would scratch at his head and the oil from his scalp created the filth under his nails. This was completely appalling to me. Not only did he have dirty fingernails, but how dirty could his scalp possibly be to make his fingernails black!!! I sat there one day scratching away at my scalp, checking my nails over and over again. But every time, they were clean. Now, because I knew that he must have not been bathing to achieve such results. Believe it or not, I was completely honest with him when I gave him a reason as to why we could not date anymore.

A similiar situation is somebody else I dated that would just absolutely refuse to brush his teeth. Although embarassed to say that we dated for a year (despite the non tooth brushing) within the year, I believe he brushed his teeth maybe a total of 5 times. During those 5 times, when I watched him pull the toothbrush out, it almost felt like a magical moment that I should take pictures of or record on video, anything to have proof of this surreal event.

I understand that guys let themselves go at times if they are single. But PLEASE if you are with someone or starting to date someone. I understand people say you should love others just the way you are. But I highly doubt that if I had rotten teeth that I never brushed, dirty fingernails and never bathed, that they would even give me the time of day. Even if you don’t care about yourself, care about the person you’re with and brush those teeth, daily, and please bathe also daily. In a North American culture, in the 21st Century is this really too much to ask for?


picture credit