Tag Archives: soulmates

How I Met my Boyfriend…

9 Aug

We blog about online dating quite often as we have both turned to it in the past to help us hopefully find a soul mate. I often wrote about how I did not imagine meeting a soul mate drunkenly at the bar because it felt as if they were always there, trying to pick up any female walking by and get her drunk enough to make her feel that she is special.

One night, when I was least expecting it and when I had only been at the bar for a short enough period of time, I ended up meeting my current love of my life.

I usually do not have the best memory but vividly remember almost everything about the night we met.

Every time I look back it reminds me out of a scene from a Tim Burton movie I love, “Big Fish”:

“They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. And that’s true. What they don’t tell you, is that once time starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.”

I remember looking at each other and smiling and the memory is still in my mind, and following that single event the way our relationship progressed was extra fast, but wonderful in all the right ways.

I had arrived at the bar quite late to meet my friends and had only been there for an hour or so and had only had enough time to have one drink. Brooke was way ahead of me with drinks and having a great time when, as per usual at the bar, some drunken fool started approaching us. I told him several times to leave us alone but he seemed to really enjoy pissing me off and kept showing off his dance  moves, which resembled a monkey by the way in front of me. At one point he stood in front of me and started flailing his arms around, and as I turned into the crowd, I made eye contact with who then was a stranger and (apparently) made a disgusted face at him asking for rescue from this drunken freak.

He came over to me and started talking and one conversation lead to another, lead to another and time flew by so fast that it was already last call and the bar was closing. He had only been there for less than an hour too so we were both fully sober to be able to have intelligent conversations. We had quite a lot in common, loved the same TV shows, both have careers that we are growing into and seemed to have the same sense of humour.

We somehow fit perfectly together from that day on, and the first date, the second and every other day after that. We spent so much time together, not because we felt we HAD to but because we genuinely enjoy each other’s company that we are moving in together. We decided that all the decisions we have made and will continue to make will not be to conform by what standards people say a relationship ought to follow or not follow. It is a gut feeling and when it happens, both people agree and see eye to eye and this is something rare and amazing for me having experienced the complete opposite in the past.

I remember one day having a conversation with him and the words that came out of his mouth were: “I don’t think you have ever dated someone like me because you would still have been with them to this day.” It gave me goose bumps because I knew that it was the truth.

So why did this relationship work for me but online dating failed?

Because we both happened to be at the right place at the right time, not just physically that night at the bar but in our lives. Maybe somehow the universe aligned and things happen because it was fate (if you believe in it) or maybe things are a series of random events. I don’t really know what I believe in but I am happier than ever before and most importantly I am with someone that is sure about being with me. Unlike the experience I had before with someone who was constantly confused until one day he was confused about me.

Online dating provided a good understanding for me of what attributes I liked in someone and which ones I disliked. But I found many of the men I met online had various issues. Some still lived at home in their 30’s, had unsteady jobs or jobs that were not so great, they had no aspirations and future plans and they were generally confused without much direction. It seems they all turned to online dating to not necessarily build a relationship but to hopefully find themselves. What they didn’t realize is that by turning to online dating, it means that another person may become involved and feelings often get hurt.

The important aspect about dating in general and online dating is finding yourself and making yourself someone that has various things to offer to a relationship. It is not fair to find someone to give you direction because they are not your parent or teacher, they are your partner and ought to be looking towards the same direction as you.

So next time you try online dating, already have a profile or are frustrated. Turn all that off and head out somewhere social. That wonderful person who has a career and is very busy may not have the time to dedicate to an online dating profile, but he may have the time to catch up with a friend that night and who knows, you may bump into him.

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Taking chances

14 Sep

 

I truly believe in taking chances and these chances can be small, or big but regardless; they will leave you changed in one way or another.

They may show you a side of yourself you didn’t know existed or you may help somebody else see a side of themselves that they were not aware of. You may even regret these chances, but the motto I always live with is to experience something full on rather than spending the rest of your life wondering what could’ve been.

My chance started out of the blue while I was on vacation for a week in a tropical place. I had that initial gut feeling that something exciting was going to happen and the unknown is what made it even more fun. I saw him from afar sitting at a table, surrounded by a group of friends. We made eye contact and inside I had that feeling again that the exciting thing would be him.

We hit it off after the first night of talking together. The chemistry was unbelievable and the things we had in common were surprisingly bizarre. He called me his “kindred soul” so I will refer to him as “S.K.”. Regardless, at this point I figured not much could come of it, this would probably be a random hook up story and that’s the end of that. Or so I thought. He made me laugh constantly and had the witty sense of humour I love. His ability to quickly come up with hilarious things to say had me hooked and I lost all initial gut feelings. This encounter was even more mysterious than I had thought, I was falling for him by the minute and by the day but was afraid because our time together would be limited.

What we both did then and there was jump in with both feet and made every minute & second count. We lived in the “now” and did not worry about tomorrow. Although previously we had been strangers on vacation, we shared our most intimate thoughts & experiences with each other.

In one of our “heart to hearts” he shared with me his inability to fall in love as he described himself as “emotionally detached.” I believe that through our experience I made him see himself in a different light. To me, he was the opposite of that, he smiled whenever he saw me, held my hand every second, kissed my forehead when we were standing in the ocean or laying in bed and brushed the hair away from my face. I told him that he was not emotionally detached but needed to find that someone to notice those things about him and to accept and love his sense of humour.

He had never felt that before.

I don’t have an answer as to whether us continuing to talk or see each other may or may not lead us somewhere. Life proved to us time and time again that taking chances can be very rewarding. If you’re willing to take that risk I say to always jump in and have no regrets. Your kindred soul, friend or just future boyfriend/husband can be out there but without jumping in you may miss that opportunity to experience something surreal. And if life is not measured by the breaths we take but the moments that take our breaths away, those moments definitely never failed to take my breath away.

 

-Mckenzie