Does Age Matter?

27 Sep

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How do you know when the guy you’re dating is too young for you? Well you ask yourself. Do I see myself with him a year from now? A month from now? Am I happy about that? Do I get bothered by the fact that he talks about the future without necessarily mentioning me in it? Does it bother me that his friends live with him? Does it matter that he has batman bed sheets?

Well, the trend of dating a younger guy has always been around though maybe not that obviously. As we transition from mid to late twenties, we start wondering what we want in the next few years. I’ve asked a few friends what they think about dating their younger boyfriend. They tell me the same thing every time. It’s fun, easy, and I don’t really have to think about it. That’s all well and good because in many lives, boyfriends have been a hassle that have been a complicated mess, and a younger guy appears as an effortless good time. That is, until things become more complicated. After all, they’re still guys and one of you will inevitably fall for the other if enough time is invested.

I remember dating a guy who was six years older than me. It didn’t mean his maturity level was six years older, that’s for sure. After all, he’s a guy. I truly believe our maturity levels will always be different. You’re just best to stick with someone whose maturity level is good with yours- younger or older. Anyways, this six-year-older boyfriend had a level of maturity that I thought was more mature at the beginning. As time wore on, I saw more and more of a childish, self-absorbed “funnyman” who thought he was my gift from God.

One day my “gift from God” took a picture. He had just been in the washroom and came back with a photo. Well, what do you think that picture was of? His poop. Yup, he had taken a big poop and just thought he should take a picture and share it with me. Safe to say, he was out of my house that night. I couldn’t imagine dating a poop-loving gift from God.

Maturity levels can range far and wide, from a 22 year old being more intellectually developed than a 36 year old. I’ve dated both, and honestly can’t find one factor that says consistently: older men are better than younger guys. I can’t say the opposite either.

The conclusion I came to after discussing this with my friends was just the fact that as we get older, some of us fear settling down and think a younger guy will not be as serious. The ladies who are more than comfortable with the fact that more and more guys are looking to settle down are content with going for the one they connect with, who usually happens to be the same age or older.

My sister, for example, is seeing a younger guy. He’s 3 or 4 years younger and she is in her late twenties. Two years ago she was seeing an older guy who was the guy you could see yourself marrying (well… I couldn’t because he was bald and fat, and a douche who thought my opinions were idiotic) and the relationship was a disaster. This is another story, but as people do, they look for rebound. Though we’re not that close, I’m sure she had a one nighter or two, but she eventually started dating this guy who was younger because it was just fun. Well, they’ve been together for a year and a half now, and are looking to move in together in the next year. She plans to marry him. I can’t tell the future, but I can say that what started out as a fun thing about age turned into a serious thing where age doesn’t matter.

Age is just something that makes us feel better by putting a guy or ourselves into a category. The truth is, it’s all unpredictable. Just date who you want, sleep with who you want (as long as they’re legal age and you’re not a creeper) and just have a good time. Whether you want it or not, life happens and you can’t say where you’ll be in two or three years from now… Just don’t date a guy who shows you a picture of poop.

 

Do you like the flick of my hand?

21 Sep

http://weheartit.com/entry/28642432/via/AnnaTxx

 

I’m sure you’re aware that every man, guy or boy has unique quirks that make him who he is. I’m also sure you’re aware that some of these traits are the reasons for nicknames, stories, and inevitably how you describe your ex when the relationship has ended. Well, I’m here to tell you that this is not only one of the most common things to discuss with your girlfriends; it’s clearly one of the most fun things.

I’m here to tell you how a flick of the wrist lasted as one ex’s identifier for years after we had broken up. While he and I would eat dinner, he would open his palm, spread his fingers and flick across his body quickly to form his hand into a point. He would do this to ask me to pass the salt, point directions to anyone if they asked, and always… always to order dinner. We would sit down at a table and for some reason he would get a sense of power, and speak to the waitress with a cockiness that always made me shiver. He would not only point to the menu with his hand flick, but also to ask me what I was going to order, and then proceed to order it for me always in the same manner. “She’ll have the chicken,” hand flick. “I’ll have the pasta,” hand flick.

I’ll always remember McKenzie telling me that the women that worked at the store she was working at the time thought he was there to steal something. He had a sketchy way about him, only emphasized by the fact that he would flick his hand all the time. Perhaps this was a disease. The disease of the Idle Hands as the 90’s Devon Sawa flick would suggest. Anyways, it never stops being funny and once in a while I am at dinner or McKenzie is, and we burst out laughing at someone across the room ordering with the flick of the hand.

Here’s another example. A guy I dated had a weird and disgusting trait. It’s pretty awful and I can’t believe I dated him for so long considering he had this. When he kissed me, (remembering this is making me gag) he would back away at the end of our little make out with his mouth open and tongue sticking out. Yeah, I dated a dog. It wasn’t so weird at the beginning because I thought he was just into it and would go back for another wet one… literally. Now that I think about it, I only dated him because I was lonely at the beginning, and I guess that deserves ignoring a dog tongue. As time wore on, he would do it consistently. He would just open his mouth with his moist little tongue sticking out. Gross.

I started looking away because I couldn’t take it anymore. What’s worse is that it started that when we had sex he would do it too. He would be so into it that he wouldn’t realize his mouth was open and his tongue was out like a dog. Hell, my dog doesn’t even pant that much. I started saying “Your mouth is open again,” and he would reply with “Oh I didn’t realize.” He would close it but near the end of our relationship I just stopped being attracted to him. I couldn’t take the constant panting. If I were into dogs, I’d just date one and save myself the emotional turmoil.

The dating world is filled with little traits and quirks that can be loveable, or ultimately be the end to something that could have been. There are all kinds of them, and you know we have them too. The difference is, we’re far more judgemental than men, and will discuss them to no end with our girlfriends. In any case, a new relationship is always exciting and terrifying… what traits will your new man have?

Oh, Hey… Where have you been?

21 Sep

 

Hello!

Well it has been a busy summer. McKenzie and I have definitely neglected you, and to apologize we have a beautiful man and babe photo to suit readers of both sexes. Also, if that doesn’t do it for you, we have a new post on it’s way. This summer was filled with travel, work, new relationships, new ridiculousness, and then me spilling water on my laptop and not being able to afford a new one to keep up with the blog. NOW that time is over!

Glad to be back!

How I Met my Boyfriend…

9 Aug

We blog about online dating quite often as we have both turned to it in the past to help us hopefully find a soul mate. I often wrote about how I did not imagine meeting a soul mate drunkenly at the bar because it felt as if they were always there, trying to pick up any female walking by and get her drunk enough to make her feel that she is special.

One night, when I was least expecting it and when I had only been at the bar for a short enough period of time, I ended up meeting my current love of my life.

I usually do not have the best memory but vividly remember almost everything about the night we met.

Every time I look back it reminds me out of a scene from a Tim Burton movie I love, “Big Fish”:

“They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. And that’s true. What they don’t tell you, is that once time starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.”

I remember looking at each other and smiling and the memory is still in my mind, and following that single event the way our relationship progressed was extra fast, but wonderful in all the right ways.

I had arrived at the bar quite late to meet my friends and had only been there for an hour or so and had only had enough time to have one drink. Brooke was way ahead of me with drinks and having a great time when, as per usual at the bar, some drunken fool started approaching us. I told him several times to leave us alone but he seemed to really enjoy pissing me off and kept showing off his dance  moves, which resembled a monkey by the way in front of me. At one point he stood in front of me and started flailing his arms around, and as I turned into the crowd, I made eye contact with who then was a stranger and (apparently) made a disgusted face at him asking for rescue from this drunken freak.

He came over to me and started talking and one conversation lead to another, lead to another and time flew by so fast that it was already last call and the bar was closing. He had only been there for less than an hour too so we were both fully sober to be able to have intelligent conversations. We had quite a lot in common, loved the same TV shows, both have careers that we are growing into and seemed to have the same sense of humour.

We somehow fit perfectly together from that day on, and the first date, the second and every other day after that. We spent so much time together, not because we felt we HAD to but because we genuinely enjoy each other’s company that we are moving in together. We decided that all the decisions we have made and will continue to make will not be to conform by what standards people say a relationship ought to follow or not follow. It is a gut feeling and when it happens, both people agree and see eye to eye and this is something rare and amazing for me having experienced the complete opposite in the past.

I remember one day having a conversation with him and the words that came out of his mouth were: “I don’t think you have ever dated someone like me because you would still have been with them to this day.” It gave me goose bumps because I knew that it was the truth.

So why did this relationship work for me but online dating failed?

Because we both happened to be at the right place at the right time, not just physically that night at the bar but in our lives. Maybe somehow the universe aligned and things happen because it was fate (if you believe in it) or maybe things are a series of random events. I don’t really know what I believe in but I am happier than ever before and most importantly I am with someone that is sure about being with me. Unlike the experience I had before with someone who was constantly confused until one day he was confused about me.

Online dating provided a good understanding for me of what attributes I liked in someone and which ones I disliked. But I found many of the men I met online had various issues. Some still lived at home in their 30’s, had unsteady jobs or jobs that were not so great, they had no aspirations and future plans and they were generally confused without much direction. It seems they all turned to online dating to not necessarily build a relationship but to hopefully find themselves. What they didn’t realize is that by turning to online dating, it means that another person may become involved and feelings often get hurt.

The important aspect about dating in general and online dating is finding yourself and making yourself someone that has various things to offer to a relationship. It is not fair to find someone to give you direction because they are not your parent or teacher, they are your partner and ought to be looking towards the same direction as you.

So next time you try online dating, already have a profile or are frustrated. Turn all that off and head out somewhere social. That wonderful person who has a career and is very busy may not have the time to dedicate to an online dating profile, but he may have the time to catch up with a friend that night and who knows, you may bump into him.

A Day in China

2 Aug

After being stuck in China for a day and a half, my flight was finally coming up to get to my final destination. I lined up to get my boarding pass, and overheard a conversation between a Texan and a Canadian about working in this destination that I was headed to. Being alone in China, I listened to them and made my way into the conversation as I do, finding out all about the one who was thirty and the other, who was creepy. The world thought this was a good story to tell, so it cancelled our flight. I went with a group of  middle-aged people that I met: A doctor, Texas BBQ master, British soldier, a German woman, and the thirty year old to our free hotel, which was a LOT nicer than the one from the night before when I had been alone.

The men told me I should have gone to the Great Wall with my layover in China since they had let me out of the airport. I had no idea I had been so close to the wall, so I was disappointed when they told me that, but since we didn’t have our flight until three in the afternoon the next day, the old doctor suggested we explore Beijing the next morning. It turned out that the men knew each other through their work in the country we were headed to. The older Texan had a handlebar mustache, and hiking boots made out of crocodile. Thought I should just mention his awesomeness now. He was the grill master in his hometown as well as in central Asia on contract. The doc was from South Africa and knew almost every language because he had been everywhere. The soldier was in deep in the Middle East, in Asia to survey for only 5 days before returning. He would have been an uber hottie if he weren’t missing most of his teeth. The German woman was harsh, and I immediately loved her. Finally, the thirty-year-old Texan who was the nephew of the BBQ Texan, and was pretty much gigantic- in a good way. ‘Tis true I suppose- Everything’s bigger in Texas.

I stuck with them not only because I felt safest with them, but as a single traveler, they were just a lot of fun. We got to our hotel and the first thing out of the middle aged German woman’s mouth was “I need a drink,” which I was pleased to hear. We ran into the doc and soldier in the hallway, who had the same idea, and headed to a “bar” we had passed by, which consisted of plastic chairs and a makeshift grill with odd smelling mystery meat, which I would never want to taste… Or know what it was. Doc said he would come with me into Beijing the next day, and I was excited since I didn’t feel like spending too much backpacker money on one day in China alone. We had many beers and the night went on, eventually chipping all the tables in the hotel trying to open the bottles. I loved hearing the stories, and had forgotten the variety of people there are in the world. It was just fascinating how all three could speak German, had been everywhere, and were still so young at heart.

After hardly any sleep from the jet lag, I woke up to all of my new friends waiting for me at the buffet, which consisted of strange things like “bowel” and bread dumplings. We eventually went through Beijing on a variety of train systems and taxi’s and saw the sites. Throughout the day, I talked more and more with the thirty year old Texan. He would open doors, offer his hand, and make sure I was behind when we were being shoved on the trains with the men and their white gloves. (Side note: Watching 4 six foot tall or more men being shoved in a train by small people is hilarious). He told me that being a Southern boy was very important to him, and sure did show it. We exchanged information and talked for hours while we waited for our flight and more. I was sad that our flight wasn’t cancelled for another day, but I was glad to have met him.

We got to our destination, and he met me to say our farewells, and gave me all of the local currency he had in his pockets. He said if I needed anything to call him, but he would e-mail to make sure I got to my hostel safely. I did, and had an e-mail waiting for me. Ironically enough they were making another connecting flight, and it was… cancelled! After meeting people in my hostel, I asked if they wanted to go for a walk to meet my new “old” friends. We did, and I saw my Southern boy again. The BBQ master was already into the beers, and was happy to see me. He called the thirty-year-old and I went to his room. What happened next? Well, we talked. There were no advances, and since he had two beds in his second free hotel room, we lay on different beds. We talked about everything from how he would get mad at his friends for bringing home guys to sleep with, to how at the rate he was going, he would retire by 35. We talked for hours, and never stopped throughout my entire trip with e-mails. Although I was in and out of Internet zones, I always found an e-mail waiting.

It was the best way I could start a trip. Meeting a few great people who will be in my mind forever, and be a reminder of how many amazing people you can meet on a whim. What was amazing to me was that the whole time I was with these people, I didn’t have any makeup on, and hadn’t changed my clothes in almost three days (not by choice). It’s sometimes hard to remember that you don’t need the illusion of beauty to meet some of the best people.

Travel is more than just seeing sights. It’s about the chance encounters you have and the people who remind you there’s way more out there than you expected. They’re the ones who inspire you, and eventually become some of the best friends you’ve ever had. I’m still talking to the Southern boy.

Peace and Pie

23 Jul

On my trip to central Asia I wanted to search for honesty in love that I could find in strangers I met on the road. On this two-month discovery, I looked and looked but realized it was so difficult to find obvious signs of love in a culture that appreciates modesty.

Instead, I did what I do, and figured I’d search for “inner peace” as travelers often do, but I have done with no luck before. It’s not myself I was looking for, but a clarification of what I wanted in my life. I had several horrible 18-hour bus rides, and since I get bus-with-no-road sick I only had time and an iPod to keep my mind busy. I would think about everything from what I value in a man or friends to what I wanted most from home at that time (turns out it was coconut cream pie).  I thought about how I hadn’t put makeup on for the time I had been in this country for the first time in years, and how it was freeing. Especially since I got asked out three times by older, attractive men… Stories to follow later.  I thought about where I wanted to be long-term, and who I wanted to be with. Ultimately I tried to come to a conclusion about anything that would clarify to the point of inner peace or whatever it is people look for.

Obviously I didn’t find inner peace, but I did come to a conclusion. Have fun while you’re young, spend time with those you love, cry when you’re sad (or happy), travel, eat, exercise; all the things you already know that leads a fulfilling life. I realized I don’t need to discover a thing. I need to find someone who can stand me when I get sick from the Asian food and have a touch of puke left on my face. A man that finds it funny when I get frustrated at lateness or the fact that I need to eat every three hours. Someone who can bear my past as he knows it has made me the best I can be, and who can meet me without makeup and see my inner beauty.

FYI, I’m still without that man, but it’s all good, I have a pie in my fridge tonight… Coconut cream to be exact.

I just want to say how much I missed you readers, and writing for you! I intend to share those stories you just know I got on my trip. Thankfully I (mostly) kept it in my pants, but don’t worry, there’s plenty of fun to share. Hope you’re enjoying the heat!!
Brooke

Kinky?

2 Jul

Hey readers,

I realize we have not posted for a while and thought I would spice things up with a new blog reflecting on a very “interesting” date I had a while back. We will call this guy “kinky” and the main reason I was reminded of this terrible memory I have been repressing was because as I happened to be walking home one day, I saw him walking towards me and literally ran the opposite way.

After talking to “kinky” for a while, we had often planned to meet for a date but never seemed to have the right timing. Unfortunately one night after we had both headed to the bar, we messaged each other and I ended up meeting him by his apartment. I knew heading there that this was probably not the best idea but decided to go with it anyways.

We sat down and had some wine and chatted and as things progressed we moved to the bedroom. Everything seemed to be fine or so I thought after having had some previous drinks that evening and a few glasses of wine. Until at one point he starts pulling out some very kinky moves and contorting me into positions I had never been in before. I figured maybe I could deal with it and was willing to try something different until he asked me if I could spit in his mouth.

I remember laying there, in a semi-contorted state wondering how in any possible way could spitting in one’s mouth be considered erotic. I turned the invitation down and decided to pretend like I was so into it that I just did not hear him. He then asked if he could spit in my mouth. Clearly this was not something I had an interest in doing so I told him that I wanted to be more into it to do that…I was thinking what else to do when I realized just giving the excuse that I was too drunk would be good enough and have him be on his way. He asked me to spend the night but I thought about how utterly uncomfortable the morning after would be, waking up after such a weird experience so I decided to cab back home. The last thing I wanted is for him to wake me up at 7:00 am when I was actually sober asking me to spit in his mouth, if I could barely wrap my mind around it when drunk, what would I say when I was sober and most likely hungover.

I remember going home after that and feeling just…odd. Like something really wrong had happened and I had somehow lost myself in that process. I knew this wasn’t me and not where I wanted to be. I knew that it had been a huge mistake and that no good would ever come of it.

He later messaged me in the week asking me to hang out again, I was shocked that he was still trying to see me considering I had turned his invitation to exchange saliva down. He got extremely furious when I told him that I felt it was a mistake and that I should be looking for something more serious. But I truly hope that he found what made him happy; someone who pleased him with a nice big wad of spit!

 

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