Tag Archives: friends

A Day in China

2 Aug

After being stuck in China for a day and a half, my flight was finally coming up to get to my final destination. I lined up to get my boarding pass, and overheard a conversation between a Texan and a Canadian about working in this destination that I was headed to. Being alone in China, I listened to them and made my way into the conversation as I do, finding out all about the one who was thirty and the other, who was creepy. The world thought this was a good story to tell, so it cancelled our flight. I went with a group of  middle-aged people that I met: A doctor, Texas BBQ master, British soldier, a German woman, and the thirty year old to our free hotel, which was a LOT nicer than the one from the night before when I had been alone.

The men told me I should have gone to the Great Wall with my layover in China since they had let me out of the airport. I had no idea I had been so close to the wall, so I was disappointed when they told me that, but since we didn’t have our flight until three in the afternoon the next day, the old doctor suggested we explore Beijing the next morning. It turned out that the men knew each other through their work in the country we were headed to. The older Texan had a handlebar mustache, and hiking boots made out of crocodile. Thought I should just mention his awesomeness now. He was the grill master in his hometown as well as in central Asia on contract. The doc was from South Africa and knew almost every language because he had been everywhere. The soldier was in deep in the Middle East, in Asia to survey for only 5 days before returning. He would have been an uber hottie if he weren’t missing most of his teeth. The German woman was harsh, and I immediately loved her. Finally, the thirty-year-old Texan who was the nephew of the BBQ Texan, and was pretty much gigantic- in a good way. ‘Tis true I suppose- Everything’s bigger in Texas.

I stuck with them not only because I felt safest with them, but as a single traveler, they were just a lot of fun. We got to our hotel and the first thing out of the middle aged German woman’s mouth was “I need a drink,” which I was pleased to hear. We ran into the doc and soldier in the hallway, who had the same idea, and headed to a “bar” we had passed by, which consisted of plastic chairs and a makeshift grill with odd smelling mystery meat, which I would never want to taste… Or know what it was. Doc said he would come with me into Beijing the next day, and I was excited since I didn’t feel like spending too much backpacker money on one day in China alone. We had many beers and the night went on, eventually chipping all the tables in the hotel trying to open the bottles. I loved hearing the stories, and had forgotten the variety of people there are in the world. It was just fascinating how all three could speak German, had been everywhere, and were still so young at heart.

After hardly any sleep from the jet lag, I woke up to all of my new friends waiting for me at the buffet, which consisted of strange things like “bowel” and bread dumplings. We eventually went through Beijing on a variety of train systems and taxi’s and saw the sites. Throughout the day, I talked more and more with the thirty year old Texan. He would open doors, offer his hand, and make sure I was behind when we were being shoved on the trains with the men and their white gloves. (Side note: Watching 4 six foot tall or more men being shoved in a train by small people is hilarious). He told me that being a Southern boy was very important to him, and sure did show it. We exchanged information and talked for hours while we waited for our flight and more. I was sad that our flight wasn’t cancelled for another day, but I was glad to have met him.

We got to our destination, and he met me to say our farewells, and gave me all of the local currency he had in his pockets. He said if I needed anything to call him, but he would e-mail to make sure I got to my hostel safely. I did, and had an e-mail waiting for me. Ironically enough they were making another connecting flight, and it was… cancelled! After meeting people in my hostel, I asked if they wanted to go for a walk to meet my new “old” friends. We did, and I saw my Southern boy again. The BBQ master was already into the beers, and was happy to see me. He called the thirty-year-old and I went to his room. What happened next? Well, we talked. There were no advances, and since he had two beds in his second free hotel room, we lay on different beds. We talked about everything from how he would get mad at his friends for bringing home guys to sleep with, to how at the rate he was going, he would retire by 35. We talked for hours, and never stopped throughout my entire trip with e-mails. Although I was in and out of Internet zones, I always found an e-mail waiting.

It was the best way I could start a trip. Meeting a few great people who will be in my mind forever, and be a reminder of how many amazing people you can meet on a whim. What was amazing to me was that the whole time I was with these people, I didn’t have any makeup on, and hadn’t changed my clothes in almost three days (not by choice). It’s sometimes hard to remember that you don’t need the illusion of beauty to meet some of the best people.

Travel is more than just seeing sights. It’s about the chance encounters you have and the people who remind you there’s way more out there than you expected. They’re the ones who inspire you, and eventually become some of the best friends you’ve ever had. I’m still talking to the Southern boy.


Best Friends

30 Jan


I know I usually am the one to take you to a story of passion or entertainment, but there’s a subject that you should read about. After all, this is how the blog started! The best friend is the one who will always be there for you no matter what. Brooke and McKenzie have obviously been together for longer than any man has lasted in our lives. We met in high school and it wasn’t love at first sight until we formed a bond over how boring driving school was. It’s really too bad you can’t marry your best friend (unless you’re gay or the opposite sex) because to tell you the truth, I can’t think of someone who can make me laugh more, feel for, and completely trust.

The fact is, you will never find a man as good as your best friend, and if you do that means he is your best friend. They are the people that are there for better or worse and thick or thin. They are the people that tell you you’re gaining weight too rapidly with a look, and who you don’t have to say sorry to when you accidently touch them with your bare foot. Through it all, we have become stronger and given advice to each other whether we accepted it or not. We have been more honest with each other than with ourselves, and got carpel tunnel from the constant texting of what’s going on in our lives… even if they already know.

With all that, however, we continue to give each other hope that there is in fact a person out there that is willing to accept us for who we are, and who we can be honest to. Maybe not as honest as we are in this blog, but close! They will accept our love for each other and our dogs. They will greet my best friend with a demeanour as if they have known us for years. They will in entirety exist, because we managed to find each other so it can’t be impossible.

Through the bad and the good, best friends are there for each other. We will help each other in the search for the man of their dreams so we can stand in hot bridesmaids dresses as the maid of honour. We will never choose a bridesmaid’s dress that will make the other look anything less than, “Damn you fine.”

This is a promise to my best friend, we will not give up on each other… and if no man can handle our hilarity, we’ll live on a ranch and have sperm donor babies. People in the town may think we’re weird, or gay, but that’s ok—they’ll get the hint once the pool boy comes for a visit!



10 Oct


I’m addicted to men. I can’t stop looking at them, and when I speak to one I constantly wonder what his penis looks like. I know it’s not polite to think of everyone that way, but even the guys on the subway. It’s like a pastime. I think to myself, circumcised or not? Small or big? Trimmed or wild? I know I have my own preferable answers, but I just can’t help but wonder.

I also truly believe I can’t be friends with an attractive guy. I have plenty of guy friends, but don’t find them attractive one way or another, be it personality or looks. For example, I’m friends with a tall man with a fantastic body and a decent face. There is absolutely not a chance in hell that I would ever date him, however, because he is just a strange guy. He’s my friend that I invite when it’s lacking entertainment and we need someone to put on a show. He’s also someone I would call if I need a bear hug and a laugh. No matter how many times he has tried to kiss me (and even when he succeeds now and then :P) I know I could never date him. It’s funny too because when we kiss, somehow we remain completely platonic.

On the other side of the spectrum, there’s a guy I recently met who I know I would never choose out of a bunch of attractive guys. He is tall, adorable, but a little too young. He is also outgoing, tall, and has a great friend personality. Does this mean I can be friends with him? Sure. Does it mean I can be friends with him without imagining his penis and if he’s interested in me another way? Absolutely not. Since I met him, I have wondered everything. I’m older, yes, but he mentioned he dated an older girl in the past. This had nothing to do with me, I know. This does not matter to my men obsessed brain because it makes me think, hey maybe he wants to date me.

To make matters worse, I see him every day. I won’t say how, but I do. We are constantly in contact, but it bothers me that he doesn’t ask to hang out with me afterwards, or on weekends. He will sit with me, eat with me, walk with me, but when time comes to go our separate ways, my boy craziness says “WHY DON’T YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER AND SCREW YOUR BRAINS OUT!”

I know as well, that if I did screw him, I would be uninterested and probably screw (pun intended) the rest of my time knowing him up. I always wonder if he doesn’t want me to hang out because of this fact.

In any case, I want to screw him, and I really hope I don’t f*ck it up just due to that little fact. Damn, I really need to learn a way to turn off the desire part of my brain 9 am to 5 pm… I need to go man hunting.



The “Sub Test”

21 Sep

A few years ago as we reached our peak in the dating world, we established that within a first date there had to be some “guidelines” to determine certain characteristics about this person.

The few initial ones of course had to be based on first impressions such as looks, hygiene and choice of clothing.

The next step as in any date is the category of getting to know them a bit better; that includes chemistry, sense of humour, personality, and ability to carry a conversation. But the most important one that always seemed to come up in any date was whether they offered to pay for the date or not.

Don’t get us wrong, maybe we are old fashioned. But we strongly believe that if a gentleman asks you on a date, he ought to pay. Otherwise it is not considered a date and more like something you do with friends. For this we came up with a term we call the “sub test.”

The “sub test” started out one day with a specific incident as I was in a somewhat confusing situation with a guy. We were good friends but he often implied that he wanted more. One day when he asked to take me out for lunch, I assumed that  this implied he wanted to take things to another level. He took me out to get a sub at Subway totaling to $5.00 and he did not pay for my sub. I messaged Brooke telling her how confused I was and after further discussion we gave birth to the “sub test”.

Because he failed the “sub test” this raised  much confusion. Did he change his mind on being more than friends or was he just very cheap. The reason a “sub test” is so important is because if he fails to pay for something so incredibly cheap, this is a good indication of how he will be throughout the rest of the relationship. It can be easily concluded that this friendship did not escalate to anything more.

Years later, I went on a date with a different guy that did not even pay for my coffee. Yet he was the one that suggested taking me out. Having been frustrated I questioned how he felt about who should pay on a date. His response was that I had to give something in return to earn this “privilege,” that in itself was a load of crap. I couldn’t help but wonder if he implied I had to do sexual favours and prostitute myself to earn a coffee, sub or let alone a nice dinner; lap dance for a coffee, oral for a sub and then what!

You cannot start any relationship with the expectation that you will constantly owe each other one. Overtime as you grow as a couple you can take turns treating each other but  you should never keep track and expecting things in return.

When you think about it, if this person is not even paying $2.00 to try to impress you, he fails the “Bird Dance” from day one.

Spending money on a woman does not constitute for a successful relationship, there are many factors one must consider. When you’re students, it’s sometimes hard to get a guy to pay for something, even if it’s as cheap as a sub or a coffee. Though we agree this is a strong indicator of a successful relationship, it can sometimes fail as a test.  If you please refer back to “The Bird Dance” article, you will see why it can fail.

So when you go to Subway or your sub luncheon place of choice, you wonder; Will he buy my sub? If the answer is yes, this is a guy who has shown: 1. He is likely interested in you and 2. He’s not afraid to incur small expenses to make you happy.

Over time, we would go on dates and ask each other at the end “Did he pass the sub test?” 9 times out of 10, if he had passed the sub test, he remained in the picture long enough for us to get rid of the nickname and upgrade him to his birth name.

For example, when I (Brooke) was a student, I would go out for lunches with different people in my classes. Although we were the typical “starving students,” it would be the perfect test to see who really was interested in me and who wasn’t. I saw a guy from across the lecture one day and did my typical “Hey McKenzie, I’m going to get him.” After some time of flirting and asking fake questions, which I didn’t care the answers to (since I was sitting in on McKenzie’s class) he eventually asked me to lunch. Our campus luckily had a Subway as most do, THANK GOD because what would I have done! Long story short, he bought the sub and though he didn’t go overboard with his spending money on me throughout the course of the mini-relationship, we managed to have fun and went on to date for a couple of months. (You’ll hear more about him in the future. Remember the nickname Gherkin. Can you imagine why?) He always managed to keep me interested with new ideas regardless of the amount of money, and I attest it to the fact that he bought the sub the first day. Modest, yet showing effort.

The “Sub Test” has become a staple to our dating life. It has been the beginning to many relationships, and the downfall to others. All in all, it weeded out the cheap bastards that wanted to save less than 5 bucks that they would put towards the strippers somewhere in their future.