On my trip to central Asia I wanted to search for honesty in love that I could find in strangers I met on the road. On this two-month discovery, I looked and looked but realized it was so difficult to find obvious signs of love in a culture that appreciates modesty.
Instead, I did what I do, and figured I’d search for “inner peace” as travelers often do, but I have done with no luck before. It’s not myself I was looking for, but a clarification of what I wanted in my life. I had several horrible 18-hour bus rides, and since I get bus-with-no-road sick I only had time and an iPod to keep my mind busy. I would think about everything from what I value in a man or friends to what I wanted most from home at that time (turns out it was coconut cream pie). I thought about how I hadn’t put makeup on for the time I had been in this country for the first time in years, and how it was freeing. Especially since I got asked out three times by older, attractive men… Stories to follow later. I thought about where I wanted to be long-term, and who I wanted to be with. Ultimately I tried to come to a conclusion about anything that would clarify to the point of inner peace or whatever it is people look for.
Obviously I didn’t find inner peace, but I did come to a conclusion. Have fun while you’re young, spend time with those you love, cry when you’re sad (or happy), travel, eat, exercise; all the things you already know that leads a fulfilling life. I realized I don’t need to discover a thing. I need to find someone who can stand me when I get sick from the Asian food and have a touch of puke left on my face. A man that finds it funny when I get frustrated at lateness or the fact that I need to eat every three hours. Someone who can bear my past as he knows it has made me the best I can be, and who can meet me without makeup and see my inner beauty.
FYI, I’m still without that man, but it’s all good, I have a pie in my fridge tonight… Coconut cream to be exact.
I just want to say how much I missed you readers, and writing for you! I intend to share those stories you just know I got on my trip. Thankfully I (mostly) kept it in my pants, but don’t worry, there’s plenty of fun to share. Hope you’re enjoying the heat!!