So as you are all likely aware this was the first week back from the holidays. Perhaps some of you were back before, but it was the first real week back for school kids and all the stragglers from the offices. This was also the week I got extremely down from reality. I was on the Subway and reflected on the past year in men. I had some ups, some downs, some never ending lovers. I also had a relationship that ended quite roughly creating some much needed rebound sex. Once I got to my stop on the line, I wondered, what’s the point. The men from 2011 fit into the following categories: man whores, guys from my past (which I already advised you against), one nighters, guys that simply didn’t care, or friends. What is enticing about that? Nothing. Although fun, and much needed, I discovered that even my relationship was unsatisfying in the end. The problem is I couldn’t care enough about any of those men.
Its safe to say my judgement has been pretty bad and I haven’t listened to my heart. My heart is the one who has been hurting, screaming at me telling me I’m going down the wrong path with men. No kidding, if I weren’t down the wrong path, this blog wouldn’t have me in it. It sure makes for entertaining stories though!
After realizing that I knew what I was doing but who I was doing it with were all wrong, I decided on my subway stop to make a pact. A pact with myself. This is when I decided to listen to the heart, and put in place, the sex strike of 2012. I have made a pact with myself to keep my body untouched until I am with a guy who I ACTUALLY like and who GENUINELY likes me back. No, it doesn’t have to be love but it does need to be reciprocal. Being one who does not necessarily do relationships, I think this is the biggest challenge for me. I’m in my mid 20’s, and its time to treat my body and sanity like the awesome bitch that it is. Hell, ill still tell you about my past sexcapades because they’re hilarious, but as for new stories I hope not to have any ones to tell you… Although I know a few of you enjoy the warm and fuzzy stories (that I have never told).
Do you ever feel like you’re meant for better? I do. I may be a hopeless romantic; I really wouldn’t call myself one. Everyone just has a little hopeless romantic in them. I just think its a challenge that I need. Its been 10 days and it’s already difficult, I can feel myself getting angry at the men I know because they don’t care as they should… And I really enjoy sexcapades!!! But its time for better things (men), so here goes the dates of 2012 to hunt for a guy who is special.
Your sexless friend,