Confidence is Key

11 Dec

We truly do believe that confidence is key.

Many years ago, our confidence was very different than what it is today. As they say “we’ve come a long way baby” and we are very happy to be in a place where we are happy with our level of confidence and have enjoyed the benefits this brings. It took us a while to get where we are but it was well worth it in the end.

When we were younger, we both had long-term relationships that we look back on and realize we could have definitely had higher standards. We obviously cannot blame our teen selves because we really did not know any better. As the years went by we gained more experience; not just relationship experience but life experience. We realize that our standards have become higher and we know our own self worth, what we deserve, and we are not afraid to get it. When we became close friends, we really motivated each other to take on new challenges and find the courage that had been missing before. We ended our unhappy relationships and moved on to dating which taught us to set various standards in our lives. Through this, we not only built confidence by motivating one another but also by some of the relationships we had, some bad and some good, we now know that we deserve.

(Brooke) Confidence is something that both Mckenzie and I have decided is the major factor in getting the attention you want and deserve. I actually put this theory to test with my girlfriend. She is a tall girl, likes taller guys and her self-confidence is almost at the bottom of the barrel. One night we went out for drinks and I said to her: “Let’s get some drinks” as she got her wallet out, I said: “I mean let’s get a guy to buy us a drink.” Yes to some of you it may not be the way you like to live, but we call us old fashioned, we believe it’s nice when a guy offers to buy you a drink. Why not? It’s worked for years.
So she said to me that I would have to lead because I’m the one who is going to get the drinks. I asked her “Why would I?” She said I was thinner, blonde and cute. I said, “No the reason I would get drinks is because I’m confident. I’m so confident in fact that I’m going to make a bet with you that if you give the illusion of confidence, you can get what you want (at least for the time being). “ I bet her a drink. I told her to find a guy and just look at them not breaking eye contact for three seconds. If you break eye contact it gives the appearance you aren’t interested and you want them to think you are. So, she found a guy, smiled as I suggested and held her gaze. He walked by three more times, each time she continued smiling at my request. I appreciated her doing this that’s for sure even though it was to put one of our “theories” to the test. He finally came up to her and said: “Can I get you and your friend a drink, I think you’re intriguing.” Now if that wasn’t created in a few glances, I don’t know how someone can argue that confidence is not key!

Another example we have is a friend we may have referred to in some of our posts. She was in a five-year relationship where she was constantly treated like a doormat. She is an intelligent and beautiful woman and we constantly have to remind her that she can have anyone and anything she wants. The problem? She does not think she deserves better or can get better if she tried. We have been in situations where we were sitting in a bar and an attractive guy would approach her, she would suddenly freeze and not share anything about herself with them because she thinks she would just bore them.  In other situations, where we have pushed her and reminded her self worth constantly, she has definitely made progress in at least making an effort to talk to a new guy even though it still has not gone anywhere.

This theory applies to more than just picking up men, with work, school, even shopping. Sure, you won’t give them a smirk or a wink but you can change the way you behave in order to make people react the way you want them to. Yes, some is manipulation, but you must be confident in any manipulation, in yourself, in everything. If you are self conscious, join the club because we all are. Nobody is perfect and we must accept our flaws as part of the whole package. Even if you do not feel you are perfect, we just don’t need to inform everybody of the fact that we feel that way by avoiding somebody’s gaze, settling for unhappy relationships and letting people walk all over us. If there is that hot guy you have had your eye on, what makes you think you don’t deserve to talk to him? We must continue to remind ourselves that we can get whatever we wish for and confidence will come. And if confidence does not happen in a matter of seconds, alcohol has been known for years to help; don’t they call it liquid confidence after all? If liquid confidence is what you need, well at least it can steer you in the right direction!

 

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23 Responses to “Confidence is Key”

  1. BougieHippie December 11, 2011 at 11:39 pm #

    I like this post! confidence is key b/c even if you dont look it, feel it! or at least fake it till you do. Ppl pray on those with weak confidence so believe in yourself even if no one else do. I always tell ppl KNOW YOUR SELF-WORTH!

    • BROOKEandMCKENZIE December 12, 2011 at 12:30 am #

      Exactly! Knowing your self worth is important and appearing confident can not only land you that guy but also that job, or anything else you desire!

  2. sweetopiagirl December 12, 2011 at 12:26 am #

    Reblogged this on Inspiredweightloss and commented:
    I do know that your blog does not pertain to weight loss, but I found the information on your blog very interesting. And hopefully you won’t mind me re-blogging you so that I can continue to read your information and hopefully share it with my followers as well. This will also bring new people to your site! Happy Holidays! 

    • BROOKEandMCKENZIE December 12, 2011 at 12:31 am #

      That’s fine and thank you. Weight loss always ties in with building confidence and looking and feeling great !

  3. Ria December 12, 2011 at 2:00 am #

    So true!

  4. LittleMissVix December 12, 2011 at 5:49 am #

    Well said, love this! Here’s to confident ladies!

  5. nelle December 12, 2011 at 3:52 pm #

    Confidence Matters. Being emotionally strong matters. Being okay with being single matters, because if you are, then you don’t fear the loss of a bad relationship. The best relationships come from openness, honesty, and room for each partner to grow, together and away from the relationship. It keeps things fresh, it keeps one strong.

    Teens have little grasp of this, because so much is built on a house of peers, and there is no experience telling them it is so much nonsense.

    • BROOKEandMCKENZIE December 13, 2011 at 12:43 am #

      That is right, love your comments as always.
      Confidence is very important and we believe that those that try to bring somebody’s confidence down by saying it is “vain” or “full of oneself” are only afraid of confidence and would be more comfortable hiding in the shadows.
      I don’t think one can complain about being unhappy when they have not tried to build the courage to take on things in life and take on relationships with confidence.

  6. Redneckprincess December 13, 2011 at 1:37 am #

    It’s taken me a long long time to get to that place, but I finally have…great post!

  7. riatarded December 13, 2011 at 2:24 pm #

    Guys! are you using your site to advertise? Why are there ads appearing on our blogs?:0

    • BROOKEandMCKENZIE December 13, 2011 at 2:27 pm #

      We would never do that, that was not there last night, whats going on maybe its WordPress!!

    • BROOKEandMCKENZIE December 13, 2011 at 3:13 pm #

      I have contacted WordPress and asked them why this was happening. Are they appearing on yours too?

  8. BROOKEandMCKENZIE December 13, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

    Dont see the ad now…

  9. BROOKEandMCKENZIE December 13, 2011 at 3:31 pm #

    This is what WordPress sent me in response, it seems that they want money in order to ban ads altogether. That’s not fair so I guess we can just ignore them for now. But just to clarify it is not us that’s running these ads and we are unaware so if it’s happening to anyone else guess the upgrade is really all that’s available!

    Hi there,

    To support the service (and keep free features free), we do sometimes run advertisements. We’ve tested a lot of different ad providers and currently use Google AdSense and Skimlinks. We try hard to make the ads discreet and effective and only run them in limited places. If you would like to completely eliminate ads from appearing on your blog, we offer the No-Ads Upgrade:

    http://support.wordpress.com/no-ads/

    • riatarded December 20, 2011 at 9:46 pm #

      oh! for some reason I did not get this in my email :/ Just checked it! wow that is really…. seriously -_-

      I don’t see them on mine too! The worst part is that the ads were not related to my post in any way!

  10. Anne-Sophie December 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm #

    I loved this post girls! You’re absolutely right about confidence and that one of the best ways to get it is simply to try acting a little differently. Once you see the impact it makes it easier to take a few more steps in the right direction =]

    I sincerely hope all the girls who read this post take it to heart!

    • BROOKEandMCKENZIE December 15, 2011 at 1:30 pm #

      Thank you, we hope so too! Confidence is very important and we know the impact it has on a person through our own experience. We know it can be achieved, and at times when you’re not feeling so confident it’s important to always give the impression of confidence at least.

      • Anne-Sophie December 15, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

        You’re so right. I noticed such a big difference once I became more confident. Now how can we help other girls learn this more quickly?

    • BROOKEandMCKENZIE December 15, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

      I think it’s important to constantly remind those women around us that they are worth it and are beautiful and give them the push they need in the right direction. Sometimes people better learn from experience but it’s important to try and help.

      • Anne-Sophie December 15, 2011 at 1:50 pm #

        Girldfriends’ support can be such a huge help but I’m not sure it’s always enough. I think I’m going to Google this later =]

  11. bree for women December 20, 2011 at 9:35 pm #

    totally agreed! confidence is of utmost importance! great post guys:)

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Art of “The Eye” « Will Date for Free Food - January 13, 2012

    […] attracts the opposite sex. My friends Brooke & McKenzie have pointed this out in their post Confidence is Key which I loved reading. One of my signature moves while displaying confidence is “the […]

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