We truly do believe that confidence is key.
Many years ago, our confidence was very different than what it is today. As they say “we’ve come a long way baby” and we are very happy to be in a place where we are happy with our level of confidence and have enjoyed the benefits this brings. It took us a while to get where we are but it was well worth it in the end.
When we were younger, we both had long-term relationships that we look back on and realize we could have definitely had higher standards. We obviously cannot blame our teen selves because we really did not know any better. As the years went by we gained more experience; not just relationship experience but life experience. We realize that our standards have become higher and we know our own self worth, what we deserve, and we are not afraid to get it. When we became close friends, we really motivated each other to take on new challenges and find the courage that had been missing before. We ended our unhappy relationships and moved on to dating which taught us to set various standards in our lives. Through this, we not only built confidence by motivating one another but also by some of the relationships we had, some bad and some good, we now know that we deserve.
(Brooke) Confidence is something that both Mckenzie and I have decided is the major factor in getting the attention you want and deserve. I actually put this theory to test with my girlfriend. She is a tall girl, likes taller guys and her self-confidence is almost at the bottom of the barrel. One night we went out for drinks and I said to her: “Let’s get some drinks” as she got her wallet out, I said: “I mean let’s get a guy to buy us a drink.” Yes to some of you it may not be the way you like to live, but we call us old fashioned, we believe it’s nice when a guy offers to buy you a drink. Why not? It’s worked for years.
So she said to me that I would have to lead because I’m the one who is going to get the drinks. I asked her “Why would I?” She said I was thinner, blonde and cute. I said, “No the reason I would get drinks is because I’m confident. I’m so confident in fact that I’m going to make a bet with you that if you give the illusion of confidence, you can get what you want (at least for the time being). “ I bet her a drink. I told her to find a guy and just look at them not breaking eye contact for three seconds. If you break eye contact it gives the appearance you aren’t interested and you want them to think you are. So, she found a guy, smiled as I suggested and held her gaze. He walked by three more times, each time she continued smiling at my request. I appreciated her doing this that’s for sure even though it was to put one of our “theories” to the test. He finally came up to her and said: “Can I get you and your friend a drink, I think you’re intriguing.” Now if that wasn’t created in a few glances, I don’t know how someone can argue that confidence is not key!
Another example we have is a friend we may have referred to in some of our posts. She was in a five-year relationship where she was constantly treated like a doormat. She is an intelligent and beautiful woman and we constantly have to remind her that she can have anyone and anything she wants. The problem? She does not think she deserves better or can get better if she tried. We have been in situations where we were sitting in a bar and an attractive guy would approach her, she would suddenly freeze and not share anything about herself with them because she thinks she would just bore them. In other situations, where we have pushed her and reminded her self worth constantly, she has definitely made progress in at least making an effort to talk to a new guy even though it still has not gone anywhere.
This theory applies to more than just picking up men, with work, school, even shopping. Sure, you won’t give them a smirk or a wink but you can change the way you behave in order to make people react the way you want them to. Yes, some is manipulation, but you must be confident in any manipulation, in yourself, in everything. If you are self conscious, join the club because we all are. Nobody is perfect and we must accept our flaws as part of the whole package. Even if you do not feel you are perfect, we just don’t need to inform everybody of the fact that we feel that way by avoiding somebody’s gaze, settling for unhappy relationships and letting people walk all over us. If there is that hot guy you have had your eye on, what makes you think you don’t deserve to talk to him? We must continue to remind ourselves that we can get whatever we wish for and confidence will come. And if confidence does not happen in a matter of seconds, alcohol has been known for years to help; don’t they call it liquid confidence after all? If liquid confidence is what you need, well at least it can steer you in the right direction!