While waiting in line at the Starbucks the other day; hypnotized by my Blackberry, I noticed that the guy in front of the line kept smiling at me. I ignored him and got back to my BBM as I’m having a great conversation about peppermint tea?
Then suddenly he says to me: “Nice phone you have there!”
I looked up and muttered: “Thanks,” but got back to my zombie-like state on BBM.
Then he delivers is; the pick-up line … “Want to put my number in it?”
At this moment, I was somewhat annoyed that he was interrupting my wonderful BBM conversation but even more annoyed that he delivered one of the cheesiest pick-up lines I have ever heard. I interrupted my BBM conversation, looked up at him and bluntly said: “NO” no smile, no laughter, and no expression whatsoever. I heard him mutter “Wow” under his breath, guess he was shocked by my delivery of the NO.
Then, as if he was trying so hard to make it worse he awkwardly says:
“That’s my line, don’t steal it” to which I of course replied: “Don’t worry, I won’t”
Unfortunately I couldn’t get this leech off my back. We then had to walk over to the other side and wait for our coffees to be made. Clearly my bluntness didn’t raise a red flag to him as he then asked me if I’m on Facebook. Really??? I don’t want your number, I don’t really want to talk to you but I will give you my full name to add me to Facebook! Clearly I said no but he was STILL not done. He asked me if I lived on a specific street downtown because I look familiar. That is just crossing a line, he exercised every option available to him but clearly asking where I live was apparently like pulling out the big guns. Dream on, as if I’m going to tell you my address!
I remember another day on my lunch break; I had a guy approach me in a suit and sunglasses. At first I thought he was trying to sell me something but then he asked if I work in the area. He told me that he had seen me walk by every day during his lunch break since the summer and finally mustered up the courage to come talk to me. I suddenly felt like I had been stalked, I couldn’t care less about his act of bravery by talking to me. But imagine that; he had been watching me every day!! I pictured him sitting there, eyeing me from inside a coffee shop, planning his move. He rambled on about how he had nothing to lose and
decided to finally approach me. What must he have been plotting for so long, if he really had been watching me since summer, it was October, and did it really have to take him so long to come up with a cheesy line? Regardless, he asked me for a drink and I told him I was in a relationship ( he wasn’t my type and was trying too hard with his over-gelled hair and giant sunglasses.) The worst part was not wanting him to know which building I worked in so I had to awkwardly stand outside while he walked away.
This other one has happened to me twice while walking home with Brooke, I was approached by the same man on both occasions. He would always start off by saying that he thinks I’m very beautiful and he saw me walking around and wanted to talk to me. I feel like the over-gelled sunglass guy and him must be friends or part of a group that thinks they’ve got game and try to pick up young women downtown. I say this because he used the same approach with me as the previous one and told me he had seen me in the area.
A week went by and I was approached by him again, I brushed him off and told him to not waste his time as he had already done this last week. He acknowledged that and said he wanted to approach me again because he had seen me that day again during lunch at the mall. As I walked away, I decided to remind him that I brought my lunch that specific day and was NOT at the mall during the lunch break. Nice try, sucker!
I remember another time when I worked at the bank a client tried to pick me up by asking me if I wanted to move into his loft with him which he had just bought. First of all, a loft is basically one room, he was looking for a “roommate” as he liked to put it, I asked him if we would separate the apartment with a curtain down the middle. Clearly he must not have caught on
that I was TRYING to play dumb because he just didn’t get my sarcasm. I would say some people rush into things but talk about asking someone to move in with you before even going on a date.
That brings me to the next man at the same job, whenever he saw me he decided to point at me and say “That’s my future wife” guess I have no say in whom I marry apparently because he claimed me the way you do when you pick a puppy, he had never spoken to me or gotten to know me. For all he knew I could be a monster but that’s okay, guess he was fine with that!
We can never forget though the cheesy pick-up lines we are approached with in bars. My two favourites are: “Do you come here often” and “Why are you here tonight.” Think about those guys, those are close ended questions “Yes I come here often/No I don’t” and “I’m here with my friends/For a birthday.” What else do you have up yoursleeve now? Guess the next ones are “Nice phone would you like my number in it.”
Clearly the reason these guys use these pick-up lines is because they have actually tested them and they have worked! Believe it or not, there are women out there that love this stuff; they feel all flattered and giddy. Know why I know this? Because I saw it happen in front of me the other day while I was at the gym. Two guys, one of them had hair like a cockatoo and the other had dark brown hair with almost white highlights in it (Farrah Fawcett style), fully picked up a girl from the gym. She gave them her number and as she walked away they asked what her name was and she said “Samantha,” then the cockatoo gave her the best line: “I’m going to give you a missed call so you can see my number.” What does that even mean???? If someone offered to
give me a missed call I would say, please save your time and mine. If I’m going to miss the call may as well realize I’m not interested. Goodbye.
So we ask you girls and guys out there; do pick-up lines ACTUALLY work? Have they ever worked for you? We would love to know!