This weekend I was hanging out with a guy that I actually like. I was impressed because asked if I wanted to come over to watch a movie and he would make me dinner. I think it’s great when a guy asks if he can cook for you. Not only does it save some money, but also it gives him a chance to show off his skills and make you attracted to his manly way with food. Also, I’m attracted to food on its own so it’s just a really big bonus when a guy can cook. So I went over right after work and we hung out for the afternoon. It was a lot of fun but then I really felt the need… to fart. Have you ever been hanging out with a guy and you just need to let one go? I’m sure you have. If you haven’t, well good for you but it’s pretty human so I’m pretty sure you’re lying to yourself.
So there I was, sitting in the kitchen with him talking about whatever and I just desperately needed to let one go. I said I needed to check my phone and I went into his room hoping to catch a moment of silence for a deadly need. He followed me in because he wanted to put his slippers on (HOW CUTE IS THAT). Needless to say, I didn’t get my window of opportunity.
Then when I thought I was in the clear to go to the washroom, his roommates came home. 4 of them. You know now they’re roaming the house and there’s not one place just fart! What do you do in that situation? I know that Mckenzie agrees with me when we say we can’t just fart in front of a guy. I mean I guess if he’s your boyfriend it’s a lot easier but there’s no way that I can fart in front of a guy I like who wears slippers.
But now, I didn’t just have to fart. I couldn’t just sh*t in a 3 bedroom apartment that has 4 roommates. I just couldn’t do it. Everyone was in close proximity and all talking. Do you think me coming out of the washroom and someone going in right after me wouldn’t say anything? These guys talk! I don’t want to be the girl that shat.
I messaged Mckenzie sharing my dilemma with her and she shared one of her so-called “tricks” with me. Ask to go for a coffee and as soon as you arrive in the coffee shop confess that you must desperately use the washroom. Needles to say, I sat in discomfort for THREE hours before I could do anything. Thank God his roommates went to the beer store.
It seems that using the washroom for a number 2 and farting are almost like steps in a relationship that we dread having to take but must be faced one day. We know that everybody poops and farts, but when do we come out to the person we are so attracted to or the one we love and let them come to the realization that unfortunately girls do fart and poop and it does NOT smell like flowers.
Is there an amount of time that one should wait? Is there a sign or an indication that now it’s okay to expel gas near someone you’re dating or your significant other…how do you know? This milestone in any relationship seems to be one that is unavoidable but how does one make the transition smoothly without feeling embarrassed? Unless you carry <a href=”http://poopourri.com/”>PooPourri</a> in your purse?
Please tell us…seriously we really want to know!
Brooke and Mckenzie