A few years ago as we reached our peak in the dating world, we established that within a first date there had to be some “guidelines” to determine certain characteristics about this person.
The few initial ones of course had to be based on first impressions such as looks, hygiene and choice of clothing.
The next step as in any date is the category of getting to know them a bit better; that includes chemistry, sense of humour, personality, and ability to carry a conversation. But the most important one that always seemed to come up in any date was whether they offered to pay for the date or not.
Don’t get us wrong, maybe we are old fashioned. But we strongly believe that if a gentleman asks you on a date, he ought to pay. Otherwise it is not considered a date and more like something you do with friends. For this we came up with a term we call the “sub test.”
The “sub test” started out one day with a specific incident as I was in a somewhat confusing situation with a guy. We were good friends but he often implied that he wanted more. One day when he asked to take me out for lunch, I assumed that this implied he wanted to take things to another level. He took me out to get a sub at Subway totaling to $5.00 and he did not pay for my sub. I messaged Brooke telling her how confused I was and after further discussion we gave birth to the “sub test”.
Because he failed the “sub test” this raised much confusion. Did he change his mind on being more than friends or was he just very cheap. The reason a “sub test” is so important is because if he fails to pay for something so incredibly cheap, this is a good indication of how he will be throughout the rest of the relationship. It can be easily concluded that this friendship did not escalate to anything more.
Years later, I went on a date with a different guy that did not even pay for my coffee. Yet he was the one that suggested taking me out. Having been frustrated I questioned how he felt about who should pay on a date. His response was that I had to give something in return to earn this “privilege,” that in itself was a load of crap. I couldn’t help but wonder if he implied I had to do sexual favours and prostitute myself to earn a coffee, sub or let alone a nice dinner; lap dance for a coffee, oral for a sub and then what!
You cannot start any relationship with the expectation that you will constantly owe each other one. Overtime as you grow as a couple you can take turns treating each other but you should never keep track and expecting things in return.
When you think about it, if this person is not even paying $2.00 to try to impress you, he fails the “Bird Dance” from day one.
Spending money on a woman does not constitute for a successful relationship, there are many factors one must consider. When you’re students, it’s sometimes hard to get a guy to pay for something, even if it’s as cheap as a sub or a coffee. Though we agree this is a strong indicator of a successful relationship, it can sometimes fail as a test. If you please refer back to “The Bird Dance” article, you will see why it can fail.
So when you go to Subway or your sub luncheon place of choice, you wonder; Will he buy my sub? If the answer is yes, this is a guy who has shown: 1. He is likely interested in you and 2. He’s not afraid to incur small expenses to make you happy.
Over time, we would go on dates and ask each other at the end “Did he pass the sub test?” 9 times out of 10, if he had passed the sub test, he remained in the picture long enough for us to get rid of the nickname and upgrade him to his birth name.
For example, when I (Brooke) was a student, I would go out for lunches with different people in my classes. Although we were the typical “starving students,” it would be the perfect test to see who really was interested in me and who wasn’t. I saw a guy from across the lecture one day and did my typical “Hey McKenzie, I’m going to get him.” After some time of flirting and asking fake questions, which I didn’t care the answers to (since I was sitting in on McKenzie’s class) he eventually asked me to lunch. Our campus luckily had a Subway as most do, THANK GOD because what would I have done! Long story short, he bought the sub and though he didn’t go overboard with his spending money on me throughout the course of the mini-relationship, we managed to have fun and went on to date for a couple of months. (You’ll hear more about him in the future. Remember the nickname Gherkin. Can you imagine why?) He always managed to keep me interested with new ideas regardless of the amount of money, and I attest it to the fact that he bought the sub the first day. Modest, yet showing effort.
The “Sub Test” has become a staple to our dating life. It has been the beginning to many relationships, and the downfall to others. All in all, it weeded out the cheap bastards that wanted to save less than 5 bucks that they would put towards the strippers somewhere in their future.