Do you like the flick of my hand?

 

I’m sure you’re aware that every man, guy or boy has unique quirks that make him who he is. I’m also sure you’re aware that some of these traits are the reasons for nicknames, stories, and inevitably how you describe your ex when the relationship has ended. Well, I’m here to tell you that this is not only one of the most common things to discuss with your girlfriends; it’s clearly one of the most fun things.

I’m here to tell you how a flick of the wrist lasted as one ex’s identifier for years after we had broken up. While he and I would eat dinner, he would open his palm, spread his fingers and flick across his body quickly to form his hand into a point. He would do this to ask me to pass the salt, point directions to anyone if they asked, and always… always to order dinner. We would sit down at a table and for some reason he would get a sense of power, and speak to the waitress with a cockiness that always made me shiver. He would not only point to the menu with his hand flick, but also to ask me what I was going to order, and then proceed to order it for me always in the same manner. “She’ll have the chicken,” hand flick. “I’ll have the pasta,” hand flick.

I’ll always remember McKenzie telling me that the women that worked at the store she was working at the time thought he was there to steal something. He had a sketchy way about him, only emphasized by the fact that he would flick his hand all the time. Perhaps this was a disease. The disease of the Idle Hands as the 90’s Devon Sawa flick would suggest. Anyways, it never stops being funny and once in a while I am at dinner or McKenzie is, and we burst out laughing at someone across the room ordering with the flick of the hand.

Here’s another example. A guy I dated had a weird and disgusting trait. It’s pretty awful and I can’t believe I dated him for so long considering he had this. When he kissed me, (remembering this is making me gag) he would back away at the end of our little make out with his mouth open and tongue sticking out. Yeah, I dated a dog. It wasn’t so weird at the beginning because I thought he was just into it and would go back for another wet one… literally. Now that I think about it, I only dated him because I was lonely at the beginning, and I guess that deserves ignoring a dog tongue. As time wore on, he would do it consistently. He would just open his mouth with his moist little tongue sticking out. Gross.

I started looking away because I couldn’t take it anymore. What’s worse is that it started that when we had sex he would do it too. He would be so into it that he wouldn’t realize his mouth was open and his tongue was out like a dog. Hell, my dog doesn’t even pant that much. I started saying “Your mouth is open again,” and he would reply with “Oh I didn’t realize.” He would close it but near the end of our relationship I just stopped being attracted to him. I couldn’t take the constant panting. If I were into dogs, I’d just date one and save myself the emotional turmoil.

The dating world is filled with little traits and quirks that can be loveable, or ultimately be the end to something that could have been. There are all kinds of them, and you know we have them too. The difference is, we’re far more judgemental than men, and will discuss them to no end with our girlfriends. In any case, a new relationship is always exciting and terrifying… what traits will your new man have?

How I Met my Boyfriend…

We blog about online dating quite often as we have both turned to it in the past to help us hopefully find a soul mate. I often wrote about how I did not imagine meeting a soul mate drunkenly at the bar because it felt as if they were always there, trying to pick up any female walking by and get her drunk enough to make her feel that she is special.

One night, when I was least expecting it and when I had only been at the bar for a short enough period of time, I ended up meeting my current love of my life.

I usually do not have the best memory but vividly remember almost everything about the night we met.

Every time I look back it reminds me out of a scene from a Tim Burton movie I love, “Big Fish”:

“They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. And that’s true. What they don’t tell you, is that once time starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.”

I remember looking at each other and smiling and the memory is still in my mind, and following that single event the way our relationship progressed was extra fast, but wonderful in all the right ways.

I had arrived at the bar quite late to meet my friends and had only been there for an hour or so and had only had enough time to have one drink. Brooke was way ahead of me with drinks and having a great time when, as per usual at the bar, some drunken fool started approaching us. I told him several times to leave us alone but he seemed to really enjoy pissing me off and kept showing off his dance  moves, which resembled a monkey by the way in front of me. At one point he stood in front of me and started flailing his arms around, and as I turned into the crowd, I made eye contact with who then was a stranger and (apparently) made a disgusted face at him asking for rescue from this drunken freak.

He came over to me and started talking and one conversation lead to another, lead to another and time flew by so fast that it was already last call and the bar was closing. He had only been there for less than an hour too so we were both fully sober to be able to have intelligent conversations. We had quite a lot in common, loved the same TV shows, both have careers that we are growing into and seemed to have the same sense of humour.

We somehow fit perfectly together from that day on, and the first date, the second and every other day after that. We spent so much time together, not because we felt we HAD to but because we genuinely enjoy each other’s company that we are moving in together. We decided that all the decisions we have made and will continue to make will not be to conform by what standards people say a relationship ought to follow or not follow. It is a gut feeling and when it happens, both people agree and see eye to eye and this is something rare and amazing for me having experienced the complete opposite in the past.

I remember one day having a conversation with him and the words that came out of his mouth were: “I don’t think you have ever dated someone like me because you would still have been with them to this day.” It gave me goose bumps because I knew that it was the truth.

So why did this relationship work for me but online dating failed?

Because we both happened to be at the right place at the right time, not just physically that night at the bar but in our lives. Maybe somehow the universe aligned and things happen because it was fate (if you believe in it) or maybe things are a series of random events. I don’t really know what I believe in but I am happier than ever before and most importantly I am with someone that is sure about being with me. Unlike the experience I had before with someone who was constantly confused until one day he was confused about me.

Online dating provided a good understanding for me of what attributes I liked in someone and which ones I disliked. But I found many of the men I met online had various issues. Some still lived at home in their 30’s, had unsteady jobs or jobs that were not so great, they had no aspirations and future plans and they were generally confused without much direction. It seems they all turned to online dating to not necessarily build a relationship but to hopefully find themselves. What they didn’t realize is that by turning to online dating, it means that another person may become involved and feelings often get hurt.

The important aspect about dating in general and online dating is finding yourself and making yourself someone that has various things to offer to a relationship. It is not fair to find someone to give you direction because they are not your parent or teacher, they are your partner and ought to be looking towards the same direction as you.

So next time you try online dating, already have a profile or are frustrated. Turn all that off and head out somewhere social. That wonderful person who has a career and is very busy may not have the time to dedicate to an online dating profile, but he may have the time to catch up with a friend that night and who knows, you may bump into him.

The Break Up

To all our beloved readers; this is Mckenzie coming back from my hiatus.

Wonderful Brooke has been trying her best to keep the blog posts coming, unfortunately my hiatus came due to my break up shortly after Valentines day. On the good side, we are now two single ladies who will gladly continue to both write about dating, especially online dating, relationships, friendship and all those other things that have been defining this blog ever since its birth.

I am fine with the break up, happier than I ever thought I would be. At first I thought I would feel awful, but I never felt any emotion. I did not really cry. I think once, and then I stopped suddenly as if shaking myself out of it. I don’t know if I was more sad that my relationship was over, or sad that yet once again, I seemed to have made a poor choice in a man.

We were together for nine months yet although red flags shot up, I often brushed them off and saw them as simple things and blamed myself for being too picky. We have not yet addressed how important it is to be on the same wavelength as someone but you definitely need to be on the same or at least a similar intellectual level. The problem was that I needed someone that challenged me. Someone that I could have an intelligent conversation with, who could discuss religion with me and even debate both sides without getting worked up and emotional. Someone who could handle my fire when I express how I feel honestly without any sugar coating. Someone who who was as independent as I am, living on my own, having a career that I love. Not someone who was in their 30s, bad with their finances and living and relying on their family for financial support as well as to guide them through life. I assume in your 30s you should have figured life out, your career out and be independent.

Unfortunately these were some things I settled for which I clearly shouldn’t have.

I remember watching Oprah and hearing about this “Aha” moment. A moment where you suddenly look at your life, as if momentarily stepping out of your body and seeing it through the eyes of someone else. Not a stranger, but someone close to you, someone who knows you very well and knows exactly what you really deserve. This “Aha” moment for me was actually when I received my Valentines card. I remember I put so much thought and effort into the card I gave him and it was very sentimental. After all, it was our first Valentines day together and I wanted it to be special. All he wrote in his was : “Happy Valentines day, you are the cutest girl.” What does that even mean? I remember staring at the card, and placing it where my others were but deep inside I found it hard to swallow. The words stared back at me as if mocking me. I felt like I was not being taken seriously by someone who was incapable of looking me in the eye and telling me that I meant the world to them.

A few days after, we addressed various issues in the relationship and the fact that he may never be able to even move out of his parents’ home even in his early to mid 30s. We addressed that while I was always educating myself and striving in my career, I was moving at a pace that he could never keep up with and he was staggering behind. He was confused about what he was going to do in his life and had zero direction. I realized that he could not give me what I wanted and what I truly deserved. I was bringing a lot to the table and he was scared to bring more because there was not much he could offer.

I have to admit that I thought I would feel depressed, sad and crushed. But I felt relieved somewhat. I felt like I could breathe again, not because the relationship was bad per se, but because I used to think that somehow we would end up together and eventually get married and have children. And that thought one day scared me. I was relieved that I was able to go out and explore what else is out there. And that is exactly what I have been doing.

I have been meeting many wonderful men that have a great deal of ambition, determination and independence. Men that are successful and that are willing to fight for me. I’m excited to see what else is out there and definitely looking forward to and enjoying this new chapter in my life. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and I believe I was given a second chance by opening my eyes and standing up for what I believed in.

I remember reading a quote and it is so true: “Sometimes you have to forget what you want and remember what you deserve.” And I suddenly am so utterly relieved that I was able to once again remember what I deserved and have been well on my way to forgetting what I wanted.

Mckenzie

Lunch Guy

 

We have nicknamed the gentleman that this post is about “lunch guy” because all I really got from him was a lunch date and a whole load of lies. But to get a better understanding of “lunch guy” we must start from the very beginning.

About two years ago or more I was on Plenty of Fish and had spoken to lunch guy a few times. He ended up adding me to Facebook and we must have made plans to meet at some point which obviously fell through. Regardless, at the time I started dating somebody else so I don’t recall the exact reason why me and lunch guy never met up but we just didn’t work out.

Three weeks ago I was spending a lazy Sunday at home wasting endless hours on Facebook when I got a message on Facebook Chat from lunch guy. We started trying to figure out how we knew each other. After about four hours of talking back and forth, I felt like we had the BEST conversation and really were hitting it off. We talked about everything, laughed, I enjoyed his humour. He told me he was a brand manager for a company and he got to see many cool things like hockey games as well as tickets and a flight to the Superbowl. That all sounded very exciting and after a while we exchanged phone numbers. Funny enough, I have had the same contacts on my phone for ten years because I happened to have his phone number already. Neither one of us could exactly remember why we didn’t pursue going on a date but if we got to the point of exchanging phone numbers we may have.

Regardless, two days later he took a cab over to my work and met me for lunch. He was a true gentleman. It was raining a bit so he held his umbrella over me, had his arm around my waist and took me to a very nice restaurant, nice than I expected for lunch. He had a witty sense of humour, joked with the hostess and waiter and said a few things that actually made me laugh out loud. I will not lie, I was impressed. He was six years older than me, owned his own place (seems to be rare for guys in their 30s around here) and seemed to have a pretty successful career. He held my hand across the table which was pretty cutesy and he gave me a peck on the cheek when I returned to work.

I went to work with a big smile on my face and constantly kept wondering why he had been sitting there in my friend’s list for so long and I never ever noticed him before or wondered why we didn’t talk.

That week it seemed we both had already made previous plans so we were unable to see each other. The conversation kept going back and forth. He made it clear that he was extremely busy with work and usually worked 7 days a week and sometimes until late hours of the night. I have different views on this. Although I enjoy working, I truly believe one must work to live and not live to work. Regardless, since he made the time to see me during our lunch, I figured he would put in that same effort on a second date and so on.

He went away for that weekend and was completely MIA. No text messages back or phone calls and I figured he was just busy. Then Sunday I finally receive a text from him saying he’s had a crazy weekend away for work and he would tell me everything over lunch later that week. We planned for lunch on a Friday…after he was leaving the following weekend for the Superbowl. He messaged me saying that he had to catch his plane and was unable to make it to lunch. Okay so I got over it, I realize it was kind of a big deal why he cancelled an moved on with my life.

Again; another weekend of MIA but then some sporadic messages saying how he just really liked me, saw himself dating me for the long run and that we had great chemistry. I don’t really fall for these words at this moment and I think it’s impossible to feel all this after a 45 minute lunch date. Regardless, I appreciated the effort.

I was given promises that when he came back he would make it up to me by taking me on a real dinner date. But I somehow had a weird gut feeling about him. He would try to squeeze me in during lunches but dinners seemed to require much planning. In the evenings he would usually not answer his phone or messages and then send me a random one here and there. I felt like he may not only be busy with work but also maybe be in a relationship?

As we were finalizing plans for our dinner date and he was almost upgrading his nickname from lunch to dinner guy. He told me that after dinner maybe we could hang out for a bit. I said,  sure that’s a good idea and figured since he mentioned his place a few times that maybe I could check it out. Before I suggested his place, I had a funny feeling that an excuse would come up as to why we shouldn’t go there.

He told me that his sister works close to his place and sometimes works late so she often crashes at his place. This is why going there would’ve been a bad idea. I questioned him on this because his sister seemed to be married with a husband and a two year old baby. I’m not a mother myself but I figure that a new mother would want to make it home every night to at least see her baby, especially when living in the same city.

Regardless, I told him it sounded odd to me but sure moving on. He said I had no reason to be doubtful and to trust him on this. He called me from his work and assured me that he is not lying about whatever life he is living. I expressed that there were no hard feelings but I really could not get involved if he was already with someone or even living with them. His phone called was assuring. Regardless, I didn’t really care what the outcome of it was, more like something to do?

Later that day I get a message that says “You’re going to kill me but I may not be able to do dinner, I may have to work late” I replied “Don’t worry about it” and that was the end of that. I got several other messages saying that he would try his best and so on. We were supposed to meet at 5:30, anyways the whole evening came and went and he never even gave me a text or a phone call. I went home right after work and didn’t even try to contact him because I was clearly done with him and his lame excuses and pathetic lies.

The next morning I receive a text that says “Hey are you mad at me for last night.” Clearly I ignored it, then I received another one saying “I’m sorry but I really tried.” I tried my best to ignore him but the messages just would not stop. The last thing I wanted to do was let him think I was busy or something and that I was fine with being cancelled or disappointed. So I messaged him back and told him that I did not think it was a good idea for us to see each other. I needed someone who was available for me and who would be willing to do things with me. Not someone who has to pencil me in and cancel on me because they are obsessed with their job, or worse in a serious relationship. He told me that he felt I was making a huge mistake and that he cared about me and really liked me and that he had a gut feeling we could be something great.

My favourite thing is when he said “Sometimes in love things dont go the way you wan them to but it’s never that easy and you have to be patient and try. I am upset that you are not fighting for this and are giving up so easily”

EXCUSE ME? Since when are we talking about “love” here. And also, I explained that I would fight and not give up in a relationship with someone that had put the time into being with me, who fights for someone after a second date and a series of disappointments!

Regardless, I told him that mistake or not I guess if I eventually feel like I made a mistake, it would be my problem to deal with and my loss. It’s really too bad that in some cases the bird dance lasts a few months or a few years but at least in this case the bird dance lasted a lunch date and then two weeks of lying and pretending to be in a relationship and that we should “fight for it.”

In the end, I fought for what I believed in and that is what’s important.

I believed that I am worth somebody’s time, I am worth being important and a number one priority. And I am worth having someone want to learn about me and what makes me different or unique. I also am worth someone fighting for me through actions and not words. Showing up and taking me somewhere, or out to lunch. Not once, but a few times and showing me a great time and that, just maybe might make me fight for them and make me realize that they are worth fighting for.

 

The Interview

Many years ago, at the prime of my dating streak I became involved with somebody that I met in a bar.

I was in a on-and-off three year relationship at the time and he had just broken up with a girlfriend of four years. Somehow finding each other seemed to be ideal for us at the time because neither one of us wanted a huge commitment but we still missed the comforts of a relationship so it was only natural we found our way into one.

When we first started dating it was clear to us that we were sort of on the rebound and we did not expect too much of it. But as time went by and a month went by, we were spending almost every day together or so. I was staying over at his place all the time and getting ready in the mornings to go to work. He wanted me to go to his baseball games and ultimate frisbee games and I did not mind one bit. He introduced me to his friends, took me to parties, took me on double dates with his best friend and he made me and Brooke breakfast. How could I not like him, a guy that enjoyed spending time with me and vice versa and who got along well with my best friend!

Because he had been in his previous relationship for a while, I had to come to terms with the fact that he had chosen to stay friends with his ex. I did not mind this because I never felt threatened by her. Call it cockiness, call it confidence or maybe immaturity on my part but I knew that I had nothing to worry about.

I guess he had not told her that he had moved on so quickly because one day as I was going into his house, she happened to drive by to drop off some of his stuff. We encountered each other in the driveway and I knew who she was but she clearly was surprised to see me. I had done my Facebook creeping and seen old pictures of them; I always like to do my homework when getting into any kind of relationship.

I guess she felt hurt or threatened because as he came out she said out loud to him “Is this your new flavour of the week?” Clearly I was NOT happy about this remark but he assured me that she clearly was not over their relationship and I can imagine anyone would feel hurt seeing your recent ex with a new girlfriend. It was only natural that I did not like her either, so following that day, any encounters we had, clearly there was an exchange of bad remarks towards each other.Him and I broke things off after about five or six months. I guess both of us lost interest in the relationship and we were not able to grow as a couple. We did not stay friends but we also did not end things on bad terms. As years went by, we never saw each other or spoke to each other so that was the end of that. This was over three to four years ago.

Last year I was looking for a new job and started going on several interviews. I applied for a job that seemed to be a great opportunity for me and a few days later I got a phone call. The girl called me and we had a pre screening phone interview which I did well on as she said she wanted me to go in and meet her. She told me she would e-mail me the interview details and that she looked forward to meeting me. As I went to check my inbox with the interview details, my heart skipped a beat as I saw her name in my inbox. I remembered the guy’s ex I dated had a very distinct last name and I was shocked to see this in my inbox.

I did not know how to react and I tried to assure myself that this was not the same person. I really wanted to go to the interview but the idea of seeing her again was not something I wanted to do. I text messaged the guy, hoping he still had the same number and asked him whether she worked for the company I had applied for. A few minutes later, my phone went off and I had received a reply saying “Yes.” These are situations that I would read about and laugh at but ones that I never thought would happen to me.

I asked my friends what to do and was told that she probably did not remember me and to go ahead for the interview. Some told me to not bother as I would probably be awkward enough going and that would just make me feel worse. In the end, I was convinced that she would probably not remember me as she had asked me to go in and to just go ahead. I decided to be mature, take my chance and go to the interview. What did I have to lose in the end.

I showed up to the interview and was told that she would be with me in a moment. As I sat there for five minutes, it seemed like forever. But as I looked up I saw HER walking towards me. At that moment I felt really uncomfortable but her welcoming smile and handshake somehow convinced me that she really had forgotten about me. The interview went well and she started sharing stories with me about how many years ago she went to Thailand and had a great time. I pretended like this was all news to me when I had heard all the stories from our ex. In the end she told me she would keep in touch and she gave me a hug. A hug, how awkward was that.

I went home and felt somehow silly for having over analysed the whole situation. So I waited to see if I would hear back, but I didn’t. I ended up not getting the job but shortly after I got the job I have today which I love. Ironically enough, a week after I was at a bar with Brooke and as we were on the dance floor, I gazed over at the crowd and noticed my ex from three or four years ago. I thought I was seeing things but as we called out his name he came over to me and asked me how I was. Clearly, we still had the same attraction to each other because he came over afterwards. As we started catching up, he brought up my interview with his ex and asked me how it was. I told him it went well but I didn’t get the job.

He confessed that she knew it was me all along, and she had called and asked him if she should call me for an interview or not. He told her to give me a chance because my candidacy for the job should not be affected based on the fact that we had a “situation ” with him. In the end, he said she took his advice and I apparently was the best candidate but her pride and inability to get over what happened overcame her and she settled for hiring someone else. Now I can look back and find humour in the situation but I can assure you that while it happened to me I felt like the universe was playing a silly trick on me. In the end, I’m glad to see that even for the interview she was able to muster up the courage and see me and give me a chance and that ironically enough, he was the reason she had the courage to do so.

Have any of you ever been in an awkward situation? How did you handle it and what would you have done if you were me?

Mckenzie

Happy New Year

 

We would like to wish everyone a happy New Year and hope that 2011 was a good year and that the next one will be even better. I’m sure we all had resolutions last year that we either accomplished or did not, and I’m also sure that we have new resolutions for this year and hopefully we will stick to them. In light of ringing in the New Year this weekend, we would like to talk about our years and the good and bad 2011 brought for us, we would also like to share our New Year’s resolutions and would love to hear yours.

(Brooke) Everyone wonders who their midnight kiss on New Year’s Eve will be. This year I have decided to wonder something different. Rather than who my kiss ringing in the New Year will be, I wonder what I will change in the New Year. I personally don’t believe you really get anywhere with resolutions, it’s a spur of the moment hope that one plans to keep but no one really does. If you do; great for you, but I think of creating more of a motto than a resolution. How about something like “New Year, New Men” or “New Year, New Mistakes”? I ask this because, while everyone makes mistakes every year, I tend to repeat mistakes I have made before, even if I had learned something from them. I often talk to you about these mistakes, which have often led to hilarity, but I don’t say how sometimes I slip and make the same mistake again. It’s important to keep making mistakes to keep growing and learning, but not everyone remembers that the past is there for a reason and it shouldn’t make are-appearance in the New Year.

Last year was easily my worst year thus far in many ways, beginning with a major relationship fail, health scares, moving in and out, and having problems with money—typical woes that many people have on a regular basis. That being said, it was also one of major positive changes: Going back to school, adopting a dog, starting this blog with McKenzie (!) and refocusing my attentions on friends rather than relationships that went nowhere. I’m not trying to be cynical; I’m just trying to say to you, review last year. What went wrong in your dating scene? Relationship(s)? Married life? Could you have let an argument go that wasn’t worth fighting, or was it worth it? I strongly suggest you use this time before Saturday night to review. Make a motto for yourself and just try and go by it. Of course it can be difficult to say “No” sometimes to a free meal from the guy you know is no good, that’s not bad for your ego either! I just want you to look back on 2012 in December next year and say that you want 2013 to be spectacular like this one was. Happy New Year’s my friends, have a drink or 3 for me! 2012 will have some amazing stories to tell you!

(Mckenzie) As for me, my New Year’s Eve kiss will be with my boyfriend and I am very much looking forward to spending it with him. For me, 2011 was bad and good at the same time; I would have to say it started out not so great and then better things started happening as the time went by. I had broken up with my ex whom I was quite serious about and somehow it took me half of 2011 to get over him, considering we broke up in 2010. I had a few short-lived relationships that I was not into because I was settling for less and was not over my ex. Once I moved on from all of those, I finally met my current boyfriend and that is when things started looking up. I joined a gym in the summer, I started this blog with Brooke and I also started a new job that I really like. For 2012 my New Year’s resolutions are : 1) to save more and spend less, 2) Worry and de-stress ,3) work out as much as I used to when I first joined the gym, 4) Make my relationship the best it can be.

I think these are all realistic goals that we can stick to and hopefully next year we can look back and say that it was a good year. What are your New Year’s resolutions, do you remember last year’s and did you follow them?

Happy New Year, we wish you the very best and we love and thank you for your support and wonderful comments!

 

Brooke and Mckenzie

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

With Christmas fast approaching we decided to write a blog fitting to the holiday theme. Since we write about dating, men and relationships we would like to ask everybody to share : if they could ask Santa for their dream man/woman this year, who would it be? This can be someone famous or not famous or just someone that you dream of or wish you could meet. We are allowed to fantasize are we not.

Mckenzie:

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is a man that is attractive, he must have very nice arms and a nice flat stomach. Does not need to have a six-pack but as long as they are not carrying around a spare tire, it will be acceptable. They must have a nice face and dreamy eyes I can stare into and they must have good hands. We have a thing with feminine hands and fingers and could write a whole post on hands. I like rugged manly hands but also maintained and clean, no dirty fingernails! He must be romantic but not overly romantic to the point where it makes me gag. Flowers once in a while are nice, so are chocolates and gifts but again, it must be tastefully done and not overwork my gag reflex.

He must give nice massages and be able to cook. I love to cook but really love when a man can cook for me and can tell me to relax while he prepares dinner. He must be willing to do dishes and clean up after himself and not be very messy or dirty. He must also have a good sense of style. He does not need to be as into shopping as I am, but he must not wear clothes with holes in them or clothes that are outdated. And please no big white chunky sneakers with jeans in a wash that dates back to the 90s! He must be charming and have a witty sense of humour but not overly sarcastic because that gets annoying. He must be able to make me laugh so humour is important but not re-tell the same joke over and over again because it’s all he’s got and he’s trying really hard. He must kiss me on the forehead and wrap his arms around me, this is a bonus.

Most importantly we must have chemistry. I don’t know how to write this one down but it must be felt always between us. He must also love dogs, little kids and not be afraid of commitment and have a nice welcoming family as opposed to a crazy one. He must also NOT be cheap and be willing to take me on nice dates and movies and weekends away together and trips, he must have strong morals and good values but also not be old fashioned and he must be playful and youthful but not immature.

Thanks Santa!

Sincerely,

Mckenzie

Brooke:

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is a man you create for me. He needs to be bigger than me so he can give me bear hugs, smile at me genuinely so I can see in his eyes that he’s into me. He needs to be able to carry on a good conversation, with different topics to show that he’s pretty smart and cultured. He needs to be witty, but most importantly make me laugh. It’s not hard to do that, so, Santa, I think that one will be easy to add in. He needs to be confident, but ignore the fact that he’s desirable to other women. This is your challenge Santa. It’s rare to find a guy who is confident but not cocky, and who isn’t a womanizer.

In my dreams, my man would do everything he could to get a date, and it would be epic. He would show up at a family dinner that he was invited to but couldn’t make it and present me with two tickets to Italy. Asking too much?
My man wouldn’t think this is too much! He would be excited every time he made me smile… If Italy is out of the question, how about a weekend away at a B+B?

He wouldn’t get lazy and forget that TV isn’t an activity. He would suggest board games, skating, a hike, or anything else that popped into his mind. If I was lazy, he would say “Get up babe, I’m taking you out!” If I was angry at something unrelated to him, he wouldn’t take it personally. He would use this as an excuse to bring out that smile with one of his bear hugs or just saying “I’ll help if I can, but if I can’t, I’ll just hug you… and do the dishes so you don’t have to.” He wouldn’t reverse it and be insecure, thinking it was me angry with him. But if I was angry with him, he would do everything to make it better. He’s a lover not a fighter!

How about an accent? Can we add that in there? Scotland, English or Irish sounds good to me. An avid traveler too? Yes, please!

Most importantly though, I want a man who looks at the future with me in it. Not as though he’s claimed me or said we’ll be married, but just considering me in it. If a dinner is coming up with his work or friends, he would say, “and of course you’re coming to that.” He wouldn’t be worried about money because he has a career path, even though he’s not going to be rich, he knows how to save and how to spend when the time is right. His motto is “life is too short to be stressed.”

Final request, please let him have the best penis I’ve ever seen, and know how to use it better than anyone.

I mean, Santa, you can either make this man for me or if it’s easier, just bring me Sean Connery… I’d have him any day.

Sincerely,
Brooke

We want to hear your letters to Santa! And Happy Holidays to everyone !

B&M

Our guest blog by Witty of Will Date for Free Food

We are very pleased to feature a guest post by Witty from one of our FAVOURITE blogs: Will Date for Free Food. We consider these girls our long lost soul-mates and we definitely see eye to eye on many topics, especially when it comes to dating. We hope you enjoy this post as much as we do  and love them as much as we do.

 

Today, I am facing public humiliation. But I knew I just had to eventually share this story… so here goes nothing…

A while back, I was having a little health issue. Nothing too serious or anything… more just inconvenient. For a few weeks I was constantly in and out of the doctors, getting small tests done and what not. Finally I had to take a trip to the hospital, for a 3 hour harmless test. I checked in and they handed me some scrubs. The pants, the shirt and the robe. All about 3 sizes too large for me. I changed into my new super sexy outfit and took a seat in the waiting room. I was patiently waiting, reading a book, when a very good-looking male nurse walks out into the waiting room. All I can think is “PLEASE don’t call my name… PLEASE don’t call my name…” and then, he called my name.

I took a deep breath, put a big fake “I’m-not-embarrassed-AT-ALL” smile on my face, stood up and walked over to him. We went into the examination room and he did all the necessary things, including explaining the test to me.  And then a sign of relief: he told me that the radiologists would be coming in shortly. I thought “thank god! this hottie isn’t the one actually doing the test! phew!” But when the radiologist finally came in, the hottie murse didn’t leave. The radiologist started asking me a series of questions:

Radiologist: Is there any chance your pregnant?

Me: Nope.

Radiologist: Are you sure?

Me: Unfortunately, that’s impossible.

[Radiologist & Murse chuckle]

Radiologist: So, what’s been going on with you…

Me: Well… umm… I’ve been… irregular…

Radiologist: How so?

[embarrassed look on my face…]

Radiologist: Constipation? Diarrhea?

Me: mmhhmmphhdiarrheammmphhhmmm

Radiologist: What was that?

[Sigh. Avoiding eye contact with hottie murse]

Me: Diarrhea.

COME ON, what could be worse than having to tell a hot stranger about your shitting patterns?? I was there to get an upper GI x-ray–the one where you have to drink barium and they x-ray it as it goes through your system. First, they made me drink something carbonated and then drink the barium as they took x-rays of my throat. The hot murse had to run and grab a small wastebasket just in case because they could tell by the (what I imagine to be seductive) look on my face that I wanted to throw up. Luckily I didn’t.

After this, I drank more barium and then had to roll around back and forth, round and round, on the table so that the barium would coat my entire stomach. I felt like I was a puppet. The hottie murse had to line my hips up with machine and said “well at least your hips aren’t hard to find!” Yea, I took that as a compliment. After I was done with this series of x-rays, I then had to drink MORE barium. This time a whole big cup. Then I would have to go back for round two. The hot murse told me to try and drink it in 10-15 minutes. It took me 40. When he came back out to the waiting room for round 2 (5 minutes after I finished the drink) I told him it took me a little longer then he wanted. He said that’s okay, he was just going to see exactly where it was in my system before doing the final x-rays. He took a quick snap shot to do so. Come to find out, the barium was luckily far enough along in my system to do the final x-rays. When he told me this, I laughed:

Hot Murse: What’s so funny?

Me: I only finished the drink 5 minutes before you got me…

Hot Murse: Wow! Well congratulations, it went through your system quick! It takes some people hours and they have to wait here forever.

[Face turns red]

Wait, did he just congratulate me for proving that I’m not lying about having diarrhea? I think that just happened. Anyways, we had to wait about 5-10 minutes for the radiologist. He sat in the room with me and shot the shit (no pun intended…). I’m not going to lie, I think he kind of wanted me. He even gave me a free pair of hospital socks! (I’m wearing them right now.) Anyways, the final test was quick and painless. I look back on that day and wonder if, after being so mortified and having him know the most embarrassing thing about me… think I could have gotten his number?

Our Guest Blog on Will Date for Free Food: How I met him on an online dating site

Hey guys,we are very excited to share with you our guest post today on one of our favourite blogs- Will Date for Free Food. In this post Mckenzie talks about meeting her boyfriend on an online dating site and the positive side to online dating. Check it out and make sure to read their blog for similar posts to ours, we love them and they are our blog soulmates but all the way in Boston!

How I met him on an online dating site – Guest Blog.

Confidence is Key

We truly do believe that confidence is key.

Many years ago, our confidence was very different than what it is today. As they say “we’ve come a long way baby” and we are very happy to be in a place where we are happy with our level of confidence and have enjoyed the benefits this brings. It took us a while to get where we are but it was well worth it in the end.

When we were younger, we both had long-term relationships that we look back on and realize we could have definitely had higher standards. We obviously cannot blame our teen selves because we really did not know any better. As the years went by we gained more experience; not just relationship experience but life experience. We realize that our standards have become higher and we know our own self worth, what we deserve, and we are not afraid to get it. When we became close friends, we really motivated each other to take on new challenges and find the courage that had been missing before. We ended our unhappy relationships and moved on to dating which taught us to set various standards in our lives. Through this, we not only built confidence by motivating one another but also by some of the relationships we had, some bad and some good, we now know that we deserve.

(Brooke) Confidence is something that both Mckenzie and I have decided is the major factor in getting the attention you want and deserve. I actually put this theory to test with my girlfriend. She is a tall girl, likes taller guys and her self-confidence is almost at the bottom of the barrel. One night we went out for drinks and I said to her: “Let’s get some drinks” as she got her wallet out, I said: “I mean let’s get a guy to buy us a drink.” Yes to some of you it may not be the way you like to live, but we call us old fashioned, we believe it’s nice when a guy offers to buy you a drink. Why not? It’s worked for years.
So she said to me that I would have to lead because I’m the one who is going to get the drinks. I asked her “Why would I?” She said I was thinner, blonde and cute. I said, “No the reason I would get drinks is because I’m confident. I’m so confident in fact that I’m going to make a bet with you that if you give the illusion of confidence, you can get what you want (at least for the time being). “ I bet her a drink. I told her to find a guy and just look at them not breaking eye contact for three seconds. If you break eye contact it gives the appearance you aren’t interested and you want them to think you are. So, she found a guy, smiled as I suggested and held her gaze. He walked by three more times, each time she continued smiling at my request. I appreciated her doing this that’s for sure even though it was to put one of our “theories” to the test. He finally came up to her and said: “Can I get you and your friend a drink, I think you’re intriguing.” Now if that wasn’t created in a few glances, I don’t know how someone can argue that confidence is not key!

Another example we have is a friend we may have referred to in some of our posts. She was in a five-year relationship where she was constantly treated like a doormat. She is an intelligent and beautiful woman and we constantly have to remind her that she can have anyone and anything she wants. The problem? She does not think she deserves better or can get better if she tried. We have been in situations where we were sitting in a bar and an attractive guy would approach her, she would suddenly freeze and not share anything about herself with them because she thinks she would just bore them.  In other situations, where we have pushed her and reminded her self worth constantly, she has definitely made progress in at least making an effort to talk to a new guy even though it still has not gone anywhere.

This theory applies to more than just picking up men, with work, school, even shopping. Sure, you won’t give them a smirk or a wink but you can change the way you behave in order to make people react the way you want them to. Yes, some is manipulation, but you must be confident in any manipulation, in yourself, in everything. If you are self conscious, join the club because we all are. Nobody is perfect and we must accept our flaws as part of the whole package. Even if you do not feel you are perfect, we just don’t need to inform everybody of the fact that we feel that way by avoiding somebody’s gaze, settling for unhappy relationships and letting people walk all over us. If there is that hot guy you have had your eye on, what makes you think you don’t deserve to talk to him? We must continue to remind ourselves that we can get whatever we wish for and confidence will come. And if confidence does not happen in a matter of seconds, alcohol has been known for years to help; don’t they call it liquid confidence after all? If liquid confidence is what you need, well at least it can steer you in the right direction!